only 1 thing need to cause one to be unhappy. even the thousand things that make you happy doesn't cover up for that one thing. self-reflection.

oops a bit late. christmas celebration in hall! got christmasy atmostphere! nice cosy session and MJ! lolz learnt quite a lot but still blur...ha...

swans. don't know y, i jus like them *smilez*

spreading its wings.

pari's masterpieces! really nice and showed your artistic talents!

thanks girls! for being so sweet and making presents! val surprised us all with cookies and jellies! surprises :) touched by all the homemade items! picnic idea was great! *smilez* food and games to spend the afternoon. learnt 2 games. thanks pari for bringing and CLUEDO and company is fun despite the weather and my lousy mood :) it wasn't a fantastic day yet the ppl ard me made me smilez and feel fortunate.

lousy was an understatement. i deserve it. perhaps i have overstretched myself. yet irony has to present itself.

the young hp! one of the few young photos i have access to now...

currently my fav! cos got the blur blur yet pretty pretty look....wahahaha....i a bit thick-skin but quite cute maz...*smilez*

been a busy weekend. fri: workout day cum relaxation. sat: farms visiting and bbq. felt like a primary school kid going on an excusion trip, excited and happy! sun: family dinner and hall christmas party! really had the atmostphere. mon: attempt at kite-flying.

thinking out loud. happy. contented. 'take things slowly' cos like a kid in a naive world where love story is like a fairytale, innocence is all that is known. a little fear has been cast yet it was an innocent fear. maybe it takes jus a little time to put aside the fears...

national treasure.
nice movie if you are one who are fascinated by hunting of treasures and understanding links obtained from clues. interesting gadgets.

Mr Magorium's wonder Emporium.
magical story. came out donno wat to think. its not an excellent movie, yet it isn't exactly lousy either. plot simple. believe in yourself. interesting toys though...

concluded i m a lousy movie critic. no matter wat show, i'll always have some takeaways. badminton was a much required workout! though short, yet i did sweat out. better than nothing ba...haiz now i m craving for many food! milkshake. oreo cheesecake. bwa gua. ice-cream. shall control!

personal reflections. some people know what they want, others are still searching. some ppl fight hard to get what they want, others wait. lady luck doesn't always shine upon us yet those are the moments we learnt most. at those moments, gentlemen perserverance is smiling upon us. laughter and smiles will always be the best medicine in all scenarios. but don't forget to thank both lady luck and gentlemen perserverance upon learning the joy and wonders of the world :) always listen yet don't forget to speak out. thoughts are hanging in my mind, yet i can't exactly pinpoint them. maybe just random thoughts floating ard, maybe they haven't solidified. i feel like i have jus thrown out a chunk of rubbishish stuff! lolz....

carrom inter-hall games.

haha first time i represented in recreational games. it's a challenge and a totally different experience ba. must say, yes i did enjoy the games. personally didn't do very well, nonetheless thought today's game was probably quite spectacular. yet it was a real pity we lost cos we both played very well. scored many nice ones, even those in difficult positions. haiz and we lost cos i was careless!! missed a seater! which determines either a win or a lose...*sigh* know i shouldn't be whining here, nonetheless really felt it was a real pity cos both of us were on form totally! probably the best form of the 3 days of matches...perhaps enjoying the game would be the greatest satisfaction derived. and having such a great partner whom i can rely upon whenever i m chui...lolz think we worked really well tgt! :)

this holiz has really taken a turn. no longer sian le. in fact, had quite a sense of achievement ba. nv knew my caram can make it one, until i played the many many rounds of caram. thanks to gh, been to quite a couple of places i really wanna go. and more coming up!! yeah yeah so happy when i see my committments becoming lesser and lesser...:)

christmas coming! and a new yr...*smilez*

mind cafe! super funny and and fun. using all the phases to describe...nick for val...merd's fav animal etc etc...haha..we share lots of experiences tgt! :) laughed a lot and sure woke me up for the day!
metta camp-12-14 dec

my group's jelly making session! looks good and sure taste good too! haha so proud, at least better than my own experimentation!

my fellow group leaders! qiong kuan-high, smiley and bubbly leader, sean-super entertaining with compassion leader! great leader that every kid loves...haha and entertained fellow gp leaders during meals too! Jie yin-demure and really sweet and gentle. girls love her patience etc...all of them are wonderful leaders :)

haha one of the few animals i captured during the trip...giraffes..

sean posing with 'grandma' part of our gp's skit...tweety bird and syvester

group 2- high school musical! a wonderful group who listens and follows instructions. a really wonderful and special bunch of kids...each had their own strengths...

one of my fav students! azrin and raman! woo 2 yrs in my group! lolz making lots of ppl jealous! whahaha...they are really obedient and willing to assist us anytime looking out of the rest of the group members. azrin is really funny and entertaining while raman is shuai and always follows our directions! i think the 2 of them are really nice kids...i'll miss them lots

another xiao shuai ge...quite obedient too!

oops a malay kid that i accidentally spoke in chinese too. sorry to such a smiley yet obedient boy...a pity that i didn't chat more with you! :)

pretty girl! sweet and demure little kid that sure melts many hearts...

the one that gave all of us a morning call...

chaosy...so hard to get her to take photos with all of us. yet in the end she relented *smilez*

they are a bunch of talented kids. with the right education and opportunities, 2 of them even had the experience to enter the special olympics and even won medals! a pity that i didn't manage to transfer the photos from my phone...

jeremy! talked much more to us this yr! he remembers us and even made an identity for me when i m not even in his group! thanks boy!

the 2 girls who ran ard lots preparing and manage to get the activities going...jelly making, pictionary, treasure hunt etc etc...

a little reflection

once again there was a sstisfaction upon completion of the camp successfully. the only pity wasn't being able to interact with the kids as much as we would like to have. also couldn't join in a lot of games as the preparation took up quite a lot of time. nonetheless the little time i spent with the group, i enjoyed myself tremendously. once again the kids reach down to my heart and made me realize jus how much they require help. this time round, i am touched not only by the kids but by the volunteers as well. for each of them put in the heart to care for those kids. humanity is still all around. knowing that the kids enjoyed the games also brought immerse satisfaction to us...:)

looking ard us, there are so many people who require the help of us. these special kids have a pure heart and a simple mind. interacting with them, they made us forget just wat rat races are all about. they made us realise the simple things that would content us. yes not only they will miss us. we will miss them too. they taught us as much as we taught them. each smile that this kids gave us, it came from their heart. wat one volunteer told me was: as long as you treat them nice, they would treat you jus as nice. all i wanna say to the kids are: thank you. thank you for leaving us with so much memories and thank you for making us smile with all the simple things u have done. all of them are so willing to see us smile for them too. each and everyone of them is special. its a camp that made my hoilz so meaningful. overall all the lack of sleep, camp preparation was worth it...:) enjoyed myself totally...

finally i have to say: thank you for coming down with kit kats. the kids love them lots! thank you for the heart and the thought. though it was a short stay, i hope you enjoyed yourself and perhaps had some meaningful take away. *smilez*

i look at all my activities planned. yet there isn't exactly one activity that i really look forward to. why. where did all my enthusiam went? somehow its one holiz where there isn't exactly one thing i wanna do. at least last yr, i wanted to go sentosa rather badly but the weather sure spoiled my plans many times. until i gave up..haha this sem, i donno. with the unpredictable weather, maybe it is better this way.

i think i still prefer sunny days. cos bright and sunny days sure brighten up one's mood too. rainy days make me donno wat i can do. wanted to take a stroll ard my hse alone, yet walking with an umbrella with potentially wet slippers doesn't appeal to me at all. had this sudden urge to drench myself in the heavy rain, feeling raindrops splatter upon me. yet i have no wish to fall sick. haha maybe i'll consider doing that one day when i m in a totally lousy mood. think it will definately make me feel better. wahahaha maybe this is a different way from drowning oneself in sorrows through drinking. the other option i considered was jus watching the heavy rain fall through the windows. always remember childhood stories where one can observe people caught in the rain while one is comfortably settled in the house. warm and cosy. yet this is not feasible either cos 1) i can't see many ppl out from my window since its relatively sheltered and covered from the main road 2) it is not pouring continuously either. concluded that maybe this the storybook image doesn't exist in singapore.

maybe i should change my perception. i M looking forward to my holiz! IT's HOLIDAYS! muahahahaha...look the camp nxt week is going to let me immerse myself in community service, engaging myself with kids and i'll learn to count my blessings :) and the season of joy and a new yr is approaching! we shld always embrace ourselves for a better yr ahead. take this holiz to love the people ard you. take this golden time to enjoy each minute. afterall these are precious moments *smilez* alright i m feeling way much better!

ps: sorrie this is a confusing entry where my thoughts changed in a minute. *smilez* i think typing out your thoughts sometimes do help a lot! esp typing positive mindset!

m i really doing things i want? or doing things so that others wld be happy...but i donno wat i want cos i jus want others to be happy

i realized i have learnt to take priorities in life. each time, we have different priorities, it's only a matter of which we are willing to sacrifice for. most of the time, we have to weigh each of their importance. though i felt apologetic, nonetheless i made a choice to spend where my heart would be much more at ease with. n i knew i made a choice i wanted.

the special bunch of gers who nv fail to make me smile and laugh! haha this time, not much acc stuff...and everybody's company and catching up was so comfy! been a long time since we are all out feeling so relaxed! haha but somehow everytime will laugh until my face muscles cramp! i miss all of you lots...wish we had more time to spend tgt! merd! thanks for your christmas cards too!! :) lolz had to even plan our nxt outing 1 mth in advance...jus shows how hard it is to meet up! wellz, 21st will definately be left for you all for workout-haha once in a yr occassion now...

thanks girls for your present! haha eh it's really v useful and nice! just that some of them are a little bright...lolz nonetheless i'll try to make use of all...:) and of course for the choco ice-cream cake! thanks for always remembering and the belated birthday celebration. overall the company was the most impt :)

enchanted. it's a movie that brings out a what a girl dreams for since young. happily ever after. once in a while, each of us wanna escapes into the world of fantasy and dreams. a wonderful movie. didn't expect the movie to reach into my heart. wat left me with the deepest impression was how the girl, with her fantasy desires, affected the 21st century guy through her pureness at heart. beautiful soundtracks too!

Carrie Underwood lyrics - Ever Ever After
Storybook endings
Fairy tales coming true
Deep down inside
We wanna believe they still do
In our secretest heart
Its our favorite part of the story
Let's just admit we all wanna make it to

Ever ever after
If we just don't get it our own way
Ever ever after
It may only be a wish away

Start a new fashion
Wear your heart on your sleeve
Sometimes you reach what's realest by making believe
Unafraid, Unashamed
There is joy to be claimed in this world
You even might wind up being glad to be you

Ever ever after
Though the world will tell you its not smart
Ever ever after
The world can be yours if you let your heart believe in ever after

No wonder your heart feels its flying
Your head feels its spinning
Each happy ending's a brand new beginning
Let yourself be enchanted
You just might break through to

Ever ever after
Forever could even start today
Ever ever afterMaybe its just one wish awayYour ever ever afterEver Ever Ever Afteroh Ever Ever After

Jon McLaughlin lyrics - So Close
You’re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I’m with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We’re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

christmasy feeling was all around! christmas trees and lightings. overall, a day escaped into the world of fantasy :)

christmas tree at vivo

white christmas tree at mount faber.

enchanted garden. really beautifully taken isn't it!

enchanted walkway.

a beautifully lit heart. this season, i m going to love lights instead and marvel over the beauty of lights brightening up the things ard us.

it's finally ooooover!! horray horray n horray. been waiting so long for the day to come. though somehow i think this time round, its all very chui, but i think i have worked hard! so time to relax. at least till results are out then face the consequences. double spec, high chance of dropping...

this holiz is going to be a time for catching up again! yup yup not forgetting my promises :) in the midst of exams, was missing a couple of ppl all of a sudden! think i haven't had a proper chat with you all for super long le. sorrie bout that, time to catch up! miss talking to pari, xiu and all your teases, cheelz and val besides sch work, xinyi and wanli for the missed dinner date, NADZ promised to meet you after exams, sirong, minrui etc etc! rrraaa badminton, lunches, dinners, chit-chat, heart to heart talks, laughters, i miss all those with you all! will manage my time to catch up with all and yet keep my promise of my highest priority.

holiz plan: a short getaway, metta camp, ih...and some random plans here and there. this time round, i m going to enjoy my holiz totally! no work=no money. but i'll save and just relax while enjoying myself :)

'a SMILE is a curve that sets everything straight and wipes wrinkles away! so here is a smile from me :D' ~quoted

because of this, no matter how stressed i m, i would just smile. sure it works wonders *smilez* to everyone. the nxt wave of exams is starting after 1 week break. i wouldn't say i m prepared cos i m not. but i have tried to concentrate, tried to studied. no matter how it turn out, at least i have tried. that is the most important :) okayz those with exams ending...jia you for last paper and enjoy yourself after that! for those with exams still, JIA YOU JIA YOU! :)

20th birthday. birthday is a time of appreciation, a time when others show their appreciation and for me to show my appreciation to others. its also a time i reflect upon my past yr and look forward to the nxt yr.

midnight came with a surprise. my biggest present this yr walked right up to me with 2 additional gifts. *sweet* the day started with you and ended with you. thank you.

blk 47 level 4 rocks! thanks ppl for celebrating my birthday with me again! thank you everybody for the few minutes you all spare in the midst of exams to stand ard chatting and eating. for the past 1 yr, all of you really made a difference to my life, forming up one big family! *smilez* all of you are so special! to elaine: really nice surprise from you! *touched* by you! :) cake was nice nice too! :) a wonderful roomie whom i cannot ask for more!

for friends who have always wished or called on my birthday yr after yr even during exams, thank you thank you! all of you are good good friends whom i treasure over the yrs! :) tkians, sss etc etc. i miss all of you! thank you to every other friends who have remembered as well!! whether my ex-tutorial friends, my present tutorial friends, FOC gp mates, the girl from metta camp(nv expect her to wish! glad she remembers me), some new friends along the way, thank you to all! all of you are appreciated as well :)

lastly not forgetting my family for remembering as well :) for my understanding parents and role model bros, thank you :)

the yr was spent fruitfully, i live each day with no regrets. the many folds of happiness are all i remember. the rest are part and parcel of life. i enjoyed my yr and looking forward to this yr. a wonderful way to start the yr. once again. thank you!

for the first time this sem, i missed home. for the first time, i went back to my aunt's place with tears in my eyes but a smile on my face. it sure brought smilez back to my parents' face too. i m finally back to myself at home and it feels great. the nxt challenge is the ensure harmony under one roof. since i have faced and stood up the the previous challenge against myself well (though it was a long internal struggle), this would not be a problem :)

this sem, every tear that i dropped, i grew by an inch. every smile or laughter i gave, came from my heart. the joy was double of what i would otherwise have felt in the past, simply because having difficulties magnify the little joys in the world. i don't wish to have to face the same magnitude of hurdles at a go again but i m sure glad to have learnt so much. life is made up of many steps of growth, just that suddenly i had a spurt of growth. thanks to gh for highlighting that though the circumstances have changed, the people ard me still remain the same. thanks to cl for making me realize just how much i want to be home, where my family is.

for now, i have no more distractions. studies is finally what is on the top of my priority list :)

where the kidnapping was in process. 3 blind folded person taking photos when we donno where the camera is...

the 3 november babies :)

one big happy family-level 4, 47.

wanna say a big THANK YOU to everyone. for all the planning, laughters and fun tonight. n of course apologies for accommodating my very last minute wish to go home. lolz. haas was initially feeling bad that i couldn't join you all tmr. but a really really big surprise tonight! thanks for the early celebration for us *touched* the gifts are all very nice! roomie!! special thanks for your choice of gift and of course the small slips of paper! wahahaha you are super nice la. haha your roomie here feels pai sei now...:) to jen and elaine: HAPPY 20th birthday! :) everybody: jia you wo! :)

i miss home. yet i can't go home.

haven't gone home for 3mths alr. probably wouldn't be able to go home for the nxt 9 mths at least or maybe another 1 yr+. hall becomes a place i recluse to, despite how much i want to be with my family. i m just trying to run away. i know i m in no position to speak of this with so many ppl who are overseas. maybe cos its so near yet so far makes it worse. haha but just let this be a avenue for me to complain since i will not speak about it cos no one will probably understand what i m feeling fully ba. shldn't have spoken about it today cos it just made me think about it again. sometimes i really think i m so lousy. same few issues keep popping up over the sem yet i can't get over them. home, family, studies, health, relationships. maybe cos they overwhelmed me all at the same time. before one is settled, another one comes up. i m trying hard to cope and i will. optimism: i have learnt the hard facts of life so it will build up the strength in me. :)

didn't mean to use this blog as a place for me to complain so much. yet i can't help it. cos if i don't write them down, i'll keep everything to myself and it feels stiffling. if i don't do well this sem, i've only myself to blame. for all the excuses i have come up with. the circumstances i m in shouldn't form a reason for me not to do well. tiredness is just an excuse i m giving myself. the only thing that can get me through is knowing the love and warmth surrounding me. with all these, i have no reasons to complain anymore.

i miss home a lot. but with all the love showered upon me and with my family adapting just as i m. i m not going to complain. despite the change in environment, the people who love me still remains the same. they are my motivation. jia you to myself :) i'll love every inch of my house even more when i step back into it again. *smilez*

with exams jus ard the corner, i've no mood and no inspiration to blog. trying to get my mind down to studying though unfortunately it has a mind of its own. hence, its not doing exactly the things i wanna it to do. haiz now i have no control over my mind. haiz and coupled with it, i must be mad talking all the nonsense. nonetheless i thought that realization is rather interesting. lolz :) a mind should have a mind of its own. wahahah okay i m going a little insane here :)

initially guilt was all that was on my mind. now all those guilt has been converted into warmth.

my negligence costs lost efforts, lost time and more than $2000. was feeling super upset, terrible and apologetic. yet i was not scolded by anyone. felt even worse. hall became a place to escape in the end.

in the end, everyone was more concerned bout my reaction cos i was so withdrawn and just so quiet, refusing to speak my mind. mum and dad called to take care many times. bro reassued me that he was not irritated and not angry. suddenly i realised how hard everyone is trying to reassure that the mistake was nothing. haas but somehow the more they do, the worse i felt. lolz. nonetheless i am glad to feel such warmth in the family. now i know optimism and forgiveness run in the family. in the midst of all the guilt, i wanna say more than thank you. i realized how fortunate i m with all the ppl surrounding including the person who listened :)

women*

• are emotionally unstable creature
• possess weird, putting it nicer unique, way of thinking
• undergoes mood swing super fast
• ....
• ....the list goes on

*correction. maybe not women, but me.

always been a reserved person whose mood and thoughts may be hidden or displayed depending on condition and degree of closeness. wonder wat was wrong with me for the last 2 days...at least there is a resolution at the end of it :) the gal is striving to make each day a happy day and strongly believes it is possible and achievable :) haha there is no way i can understand the way my mind goes. interesting. more interestingly, i m amazed at guys' ability to withstand the rollercoaster rides they are being brought into (in general :)) i guess no one understands what i m saying nvm...i think i am also not sure.

haha suddenly i realized there is no one close in hall taking the same subjects as me anymore. so that means i only complain to cheelz they all. that means i can't complain back in hall anymore either cos we are all having different forms of stress...:)

oh no! i've dropped so much hair and ate so much sweets that it has reached the unhealthy level!

each day is a wonderful day :)

young at heart :) - a post written for the missing member half the globe away :)

it has been a long time since i felt so happy at home. everyone was in high spirits. everyone was feeling extremely good. yeah i miss those times a lot :)

mum was full of jokes(eh though she was the one laughing over her own jokes most of the time. lolz), dad was smiling throughout. bro was equally cheerful. me was joining in conversations, laughing and just immersing myself in the feeling of home again. as for the missing member, u were part of the crowd today with your phone call :)

'make the best out of the situation' though i was the one who said it, i learnt the most out of it today. i m sorrie for all the tempers i have thrown, all the rebellious me. haas reflecting on my own actions, you may have been disappointed with me. wellz still in the growing process maz...so sometimes i really can't help it though i know its inappropriate. at least i took home sth this wkend. let this be the start of something new. maybe this sem has turned out much better than thought :)

mum is really young at heart. reaching the clinic first, she exclaimed' wo di yi!' lolz i really can't help it but smile la...haha now i know where does all my childish genes come from. like a kid, she ran and be the first to pick up your call, so full of excitment and joy at hearing your voice. she called me when she reached home to ask whether i reached the room when she was in the same car that fetched me back. wat a wonderful weekend i had though it was only one day :)

2 of the committee i m in for the yr :)

PAINTBALL! :) its super fun and exciting la. (though i nv try before myself) cannot be missed one k...and of course cos its chaired by YY and me and with a group of chio bu and shuai ges...niners must come down support kz...:)

KAYAKING! one of my fav activites cos you get to see the horizons and sunbathe(cum sun burnt) roomie and jen chairing :) don't it it either!

in 15th aniversary comm for managing of funds too..haha i haven't receive the photos yet...:)

serious moments

2:3oam in the morning blogging despite a long day ahead. mind switched off. tutorials left undone. just some reflections upon my life right now. not doing well for quizzes and tests. not being prepared for classes. not understanding taxation. struggling with school work alone is leaving me feeling a little strained. took up a double spec when i am not even doing very well. haha but it is really not the time to complain or feel demoralized. since it has alr been taken up, i can just try to do my best. :) wellz for everyone struggling with sch, let's all jia you tgt!

social life has indeed been reduced to close to zero. rejected so many offers to go out, to relax, or even to eat when it used to be yes almost all the time. haha seems like priority has set in for me. apologies alone is not enough. i can only say i'll try to make up during the holiz. for the nxt 1 mth, haha work plays the highest priority cos i know this sem hasnt' been an easy going sem, seems to have many things cropping up. trying to adapt to new envionment isn't as easy as expected. my life seems to have taken a really huge turn this sem with many things loading my mind. do understand...

lastly, wanna say how appreciated you are. whenever i have doubts, u always allured my fears. whenever i feel like giving up, seeing you just make me forget that thought. despite being able to give you so little in return for what u've given, u've always understand and nv expected much from me in return. thank you!

"accountants are no different from lawyers and doctors. one has to work hard to gain the respect and income"

that defines what i have decided to do. 3 yrs in one of the big four(preferably pwc), take my cpa, know more about the corporate world and rethink about my future path then. considering bank. shld not start to ambitiously. as for the long hrs, i guess efforts wld have to be put in for the pay.

my first ever laughed-so-much run. haven't even started running and stomach aching from laughter thanks to yy for her interesting train of thoughts on pregnancy exercises and jenny's interesting comments during the run.

don't understand my own train of thoughts which is ever so common. thoughts flash past. just like a normal person.

one of those rare times i would bring out photos. been a long long time since i have been to sentosa to play. put aside everything to enjoy the sun. beach, frisbee, nice scenary, sea, song of the sea, skyride, sparkers. memories. marks the start of mugging season with lots of catching up to do. no more distractions till the end of exams :) thanks for your understanding, your patience and everything else :)

finally this week is over. the result...

xxxx xxx xxxx
Schedule of mental health
for the week ended 6 october 2007

Beginning status 0
Add: sleep (hrs) 30
eat (hrs) 8
rest (hrs) 1
Maximum possible status 38
less: ending status 0
mugging(hrs) 82


*assumptions: (1) information collected based on what is remembered
(2) subjective to different person the defination of rest, mugging
(3) mental health has been measured by hrs, hence there is no deficits. zero is the minimum possible level

the above schedule can be argued according to HP Act no 1. it does not portray accurately the mental health of a person..........
hence more information is required before a conclusion can be drawn.

haha this is a result of studying accounting, company law and tax for 1 week. if u don't understand, its alright. just trying to entertain myself....lolz...:) quiz shall not be thought about at this pt in time anymore. move on...

wahahaha i m blogging again. lolz seems like lots of things to blog about these few days...maybe i jus wanna leave some thoughts written down.

happy 20th birthday! it doesn't matter whether u r reading this blog or not, cos all that matter is the friendship established. for many yrs, i've remembered this special day of yours, and will rmb for yrs to come.

2nd october will always be etched in my mind. 8 yrs ago, a fren came into my class to sit beside me to chat. not thinking there was sth special, i jus chatted normally with u until u surprised me by telling me that it is your birthday. i didn't know. nxt yr, u did the same thing. yet i still forgot till u mentioned again. didn't rmb again and again. yet u've nv scolded me, always reminding me on that day. furthermore, u've never failed to rmb my birthday every yr, always making the efforts to call me on that day, even in the midst of exams. i've been utterly touched by this friend, a fren who is often so ready to pick up the phone to call to chat. who has nv fail to rmb my birthday and making this friendship a lifelong one. 8 yrs and still counting. a fren i'll nv forget. a friendship that i treasure for life. a friend whose sincerity in making the friendship work and be rmb is a fren worth knowing. happy birthday gal! its my honor to know you! :)

i rmb our promise to keep in touch even when we are 60yrs old, to reminisce upon our days in np even when we are grandmas :)

passed the stress period (at least for this week) what's left is only determination to complete the week as best as i can :)

what's in store for me this week?
tue: 2 project meetings
wed: tax tutorial presentation, meeting at night
fri: submission of law written assignment
sat: acc quiz

have not really started on many of them, maybe that was why i suddenly felt overwhelmed coupled with other things on mind yesterday. shall keep myself behind close doors for this week again. hopefully nxt week wld be relatively more relaxed. otherwise....consequences unknown...lolz. :)

an end to holiz soon...

looking back at how my week passed, i can't help it but sigh. looking at all the stress of ppl (including myself) and all the jia you going ard, i can't help it but think about someone who told me that uni is easy. haha maybe things always look easy when u look back. right now, we are all trapped in the race against time, rushing to complete our work within time. at least, we are rest assured by the words of encouragement and care shown by ppl ard you. we are not alone. so maybe with that, i shall give everyone a *smilez* for working hard this holiz. no matter how much we have completed, we all do deserve a pat on the back!

not much socialization this holiz, only attended one steamboat session with hall frenz. other times were spent tao baoing back room...haha apologies for being anti-social cos of my quiz. the quiz was hard, rather very hard n demoralizing. wellz its not time to dwell upon how badly i've done but to concentrate on doing better :) another quiz n assignment nxt week. discovery center is an interesting experience, afterall i haven't gone there for really super long.

overall, i still enjoyed my holiz. :)

cooking.

it is the process that makes the whole thing enjoyable. food taste good with good company. this is epecially noticable when one compares eating alone in the room with eating with company. cooking can be a fun activity too. tested and tried from the numerous hall dinners we had tgt and the first hall cooked lunch today. felt a little unnatural using knives in particular. lol. maybe i jus need to try my hands on cutting more often. nonetheless i felt fortunate. i can imagine my mum exclaiming that being able to cook is a virture and a way to capture guy's heart. is it? haha if it is, wellz i guess i better start learning how to cook proper meals :) nv exactly like steamed fish though it is probably one of the healthiest food. but today i thought that particular dish was excellently done. maybe i can try cooking that at home and stunned my parents! wld be a nice surprise for them :)

high school musical is really nice! entertaining, sweet and the songs are wonderfully written with meaningful words. basically a really wonderful musical. for now, back to revision and project. :)

acupuncture.

recently i have been visiting different types of doctors so often that it makes me feel sick though i m perfectly fine. :) lolz. general practitioner, surgery specialist, ntu doctor, chinese medicine doctor are those whom i have visited since sch started this sem. wonder what is wrong with my body constituents. haha...

had my first experience of a series of acupuncture sessions today. it was painful. nonetheless i m so appreciatative of the treatment cos it was truly amazing. with a couple of pins on my ear, 1 on my hand and 1 on each feet. wat amazes me was how the small needles heated up my legs and spread the heat up to my knee and down again. jus a few needles but they managed to warm my body in an air-con room. in case u r wondering what is wrong with me...i shall elaborate a little more for those who yet to know ba. i have a little hearing prob on my left ear which has a much lower hearing range compared to others and has a constantly buzzing sound. it happened 6 yrs ago but i have stopped treatment due to personal reasons until recently where my parents insist i go again. haha that explains why i sometimes i can't catch words as clearly. nonetheless i m perfectly fine so no worries ya...:) wellz i guess it was because of this that i've grown up, grown more sensible and appreciative of ppl and things ard me. by sharing, i've taken a big leap in faith of my friends ard me. luckily i forget about it most of the time and smile, until of cos i m forced to rmb it...:)

i don't deny that i hate the period of waiting with the needles in me, cos all i could think of then was the reason why i stopped treatment 6 yrs ago and that was one great setback. seems like a super eventful sem this yr...nonetheless i believe everything that happened has made me a stronger person and makes me live life fuller each day. *smilez* and *cheers* for everyone who cares for me...thank you!

term break and assignments.

term break is approaching yet i foresee that numerous assignments piling up. quizzes, tests, assignments, projects. no doubts everyone is getting stressed and more irritable nowadays. haha if no one thinks so, lol at least i think i m getting more irritable. wellz let's all jia you tgt ya! :)

quote of the day: perk yourself up no matter how tired u r *smilez* :) wellz at least that's my quote for today, a super long day! yeah! :) so do pardon me for any irritation/ moodiness shown. :) plans for holiz? not really...except for the quiz on nxt fri...n maybe a few random plans here and there...think my hall ppl might stop asking me out, after not going for so many activites nowadays...lolz. mid-autumn festival? kbox? jb? sss outing? haas think maybe can't go for all ba...need to mug and of course spend time with...

more than enough said. took me more than 4 mths before my heart decided :) wld take this opportunity to appauld someone for the courage to admit. i donno whether u would even read this anymore or even know what you are thinking, but thank you too. really did treasure the friendship forged.

oops have not exactly been updating my blog recently.

guess many things had happened but where shld i start? missed lots of dinners with fellows niners/47ers cos seems like it clashed with a couple of dinners planned beforehand. ai yo seems like recently, whatever time i m in hall, its spent mugging. everyone is very busy with work n much less interaction recently. had a steamboat with sss before merd flew off. haiz didn't send her off though cos its the other end of singapore from ntu. ai yo my thoughts are so random that i can't seem to organize them properly. so if you don't understand my post, its understandable. workwise i need super a lot of help in tax!! rrrr...

each time i go out, i work harder :) whenever i m down, 3 things wld make me smile.
1) ice-cream (preferably ben n jerry)
2) sea/reserviour/waterfall (beach wld be a nice place)
3) mount fabre (somehow i jus like sitting there)

Hahas jus feeling a bit zi lian...once in a while, will don on a set of formal wear :) thanks to roomie's camera, the image was taken.

full length photo in front of room.

on a closer look. makeup minimal. almost unnoticable.
a hall-cooked dinner we had tgt. had a sumptuous meal. recently hasn't cooked or washed up...pai sei...

what a weekend i had. had so much 'frank' talks over 3 days.

apologies on the previous post for generating so much concern among friends. haas really i m fine. jus thinking out loud only. haas i know all of u wld be there to listen. thanks! i'll talk when i want to. :) fri night expressed my opinion on certain issues with 2 ppl. no offence for any direct remarks i made :) sat: mum and aunt made me faced a reality that i have avoided since sec 2. brought it up again. nonetheless this time i m ready to face it all over again cos i know everyone ard me wld be there for me. haas k don't ask me what reality. some ppl wld know. others wld not. if u do not, maybe one day i'll say. when the opportunity arises. right now, i have just faced that reality, so don't probe bout it ba. sun: i received a frank msg which once again made me say things that i wld not mind keeping it to myself. lolz. nonetheless thanks :) overall i have to say that its a mentally tiring weekend...

okayz enough about my reflections. i enjoyed my sat at the beach n arcade. :) i've always have this affinity for waters. i can just stare at the sparkling waters under the rays of the sun for hrs and keep my mind free. wonderful feeling there :) calming and relaxing

what am i looking for? i am not clear myself.
what do i like? not exactly clear of it either.
shows how well i know myself. lol.

think i made a simple mistake. but somehow i seem unable to save myself now. no i think its a big mistake. each time, there isn't exactly looking forward or dreading it. its just like another day out having fun. nonetheless i'm glad to be doing things i enjoy and i m comfortable with the company. the efforts are really evident. but right now i m standing on safe grounds. will there be a change? i think so. partly cos of my mistake and the recent things that happened.


was i waiting? i think i was. was is the key word here. but is it a was? seems like i m having more than one problem at the same time. no maybe its only one. the problem lies in me. ai ya....wat a totally nonsensical post. i know i want to post sth yet don't want ppl to understand. haha so my point is to confuse ppl too? i donno. maybe...jus ignore this. where are you for me to talk to? probably jus another thinking out loud post. on a lighter note: wee! seems like more ppl don't mind coming down to ntu once in a long while! that means more ppl to have meals with me too in ntu! :)

21km run.
an attempt. a challenge. an experience. i didn't complete my run. nonetheless, there is a sense of personal satisfaction at just being able to try and be part of the crowd. lol. run 10km, walked 6km then completed it with another 5km run. :)

got up at 4:55am thanks to a wake up call for being late. supposed to reach by 4:45! got ready and left home in 5mins (impressed by my speed!) tied hair, wore shoes on the cab there. lol taxi uncle must have realized how late i was! wat lousy impression i leave on ppl...always being late whenever i meet her. tst shall not let this carry on.

think i saw a fren, ian. but i m not too sure. cos i only caught 30% of his face and 100% of his backview cos he zoomed past me even before i could react. think i saw 1 or 2 familar faces but i guess none of them noticed me. but most of the time, i wasn't even thinking of anything. amazed by how the 3hrs plus passed, runnning.

saw a gp of cheerleaders. impressed by them being high and their ability to keep cheering the ppl running on despite being up so early. someone beside me was thinking out loud wondering how much they are paid to do that. wellz, that did cross my mind too. but after chatting with zhan yuin, it could be for publicity too.

enjoyed the morning breeze along the expressway and ecp. saw a beautiful view of the city in the wee hrs of the morning. trust me, it keeps one calm and relaxed. witnessed the arrival of morning while working out.

running alongside the ppl motivates everyone else to continue running. the distance didn't seem as intimidating as it sounds. it would have been even more frightening if i was running the distance alone. i noticed a lot, learned a lot. saw hearing-impaireds running with their noticable shirts on. noticed lots of different types of shirts. saw a gp of OCS ppl running and cheering tgt. basically, a learning experience! :)

another week of sch flew past. can't rmb much about last week. missed out on this yr's 9-5. pai sei for not going despite knowing all the organizers cos of the run and being sick. attempts at cooking in hall. have been successful! our signature soup gained praises from neighbours! fish, eggs with longbeans, spagetti are all yummy :) right now, its time to hit the beds again! :) almost forgot to mention thanks for coming down to ntu ulu land for dinner with me. sometimes we take certain actions or people for granted. but shall not from now...

fri dinner and dance for hall 9:)supposed to dress up. wellz, forgot bout it. nonetheless manage to get dressed in a somewhat presentable looking set of clothes. :) though there was a mismatch of shoes. our company for the journey to glasshall.

the 47 girls and fionne :) haas didn't take lots of photos since no camera. kbox till 4am with 47 ppl and seniors! wah an experience! had fun jus singing along with the rest. n yy sings really well too!

been updating the blog a little more frequently these days. perhaps jus wanna pen down thoughts.

in jus one night, i have realized how fortunate i m, to come to know some good frenz upon whom i'll do whatever i can in my means for them. it was just a simple gesture, yet i m feeling gratified and guility. maybe cos the efforts on my part has been zero, yet u have constantly looked out for vacancies for me. it was really just a small gesture, yet it speaks more than words. saying thank you alone is not enough. nonetheless that's the only thing i say now. thank you. jus as i have received one tonight for jus simply listening. on the contrary, i wld prefer to say don't thank me, because when the time arises, i wld seek for u all to listen to me too. all of us need a listening ear. wellz, i m always ard to listen to anyone whoever approaches me to talk :) to the 2 buddies (u shld know who u r) cheers!

maybe it all boils down to how much we expect out of others. i think having less expectations of the other party wld make us happier easier. wellz at least that is my motto in life. to give, yet do not expect anything back. maybe that was why i chose to be an easily-contented-gal :) but all these are jus my opinions, so anyone can beg to differ :)

how words may hurt unwittingly.

a fren's blog jogged my memory of being chided once by my bro for speaking without thinking. sometimes we don't mean to hurt others, jus that we spoke certain words without thinking, acting on impulse. wellz, hope that i didn't hurt anyone cos of the choice of words recently. nonetheless, taking this opportunity, to say i m sorry if i did. haas, and do be frank with me k, if my choice of words have been wrong! :)

realized jus how much thoughts goes thru one's mind daily. sometimes, it jus flashes past and be forgotton, yet some stays for long, refusing to leave the mind. jus some random thoughts. finally, it dawned upon me what is hall life all about during supper on mon night. it is jus simply about enjoying one another's company, thru sitting and chatting. there wasn't a specific topic during the senior gathering, yet everyone was jus comfortable with sitting ard and talking. perhaps this is called bonding. lolz another wat to put it is that we r trying to relax :)

this sem, i've taken a step out of my comfort zone. took a couple of subjects without knowing anyone in the class. think it do make me more independent ba. was really glad that in the end, i found ppl i know in the class-found a long lost pri sch good fren! haha surprising our parents rmb each other's parents too! think that's all for the random thoughts now :)

first week of sch has been more eventful than expected. maybe cos hasn't settled down for studying yet...so had quite a lot of fun in 1 week! though i did attempt to read my lecture notes...:)

food has probably been the focus this week. had our first ice-cream supper to start off the semester on mon :) though many were sick ba...nonetheless, it didn't stop us from eating! spent wed afternoon shopping with tutorial frenz at vivo after lecture. a pity that i couldn't join them for dinner though it was promised long ago...haiz...really haven't catch up with u all for a long time! that afternoon passed too fast, and didn't manage to see all of u! went for steamboat with fellow gp 3 programmers at marina bay instead. woah full squd turned up! so i was glad i did go, otherwise earnest wld niam like mad. haas....phew luckily he didn't cancel the dinner!

caught 'knocked up' on national day. had a good laugh. the 2 kids in the show are so adorable! lolz. eh...a bit unsensored too. no wonder it is m18. nonetheless, its an alright show. found a ben n jerry outlet with nice ambience and deco! a little inconvenient to get there though...oops think i don't really know where it is in the first place...

ended off my weekday with kayaking after lecture. a bit of madness on both our part. went all the way to Macritchi to kayak after lecture lugging all our txtbooks with us! despite the inconvenience in getting there on public transport and the constant chiding on making that decision, having the whole reservoir to ourselves that afternoon diffuses whatever sianess we had :)

looking forward to bbq later at aunt's hse! :)

national day preview.

sth that i had to blog about though it was over really long ago. never been a fan of national day parade but this yr's national day is special because it is held on a platform surrounded by waters. being able to be part of the crowd makes the whole atmostphere really different though it was only a preview.

the use of the waters, laser effects, fires, stunts and fireworks was stunning and really do impresses me lots. an eye-opener to the normal parades. but jus one pity that i forgot to bring the sd card along with the camera. took limited photos but will upload it soon :)

hall foc 2007.

as a programmer, i've learnt lots bout the running of camps. most stuff have been blogged by fellow neighbours so shall not elaborate on them. not an easy task, yet i did enjoy myself despite surviving on only 4 hrs of sleep daily. though there are stoning moments, we worked well as a team. special credits goes to our mcp who are constantly getting us to bond. the laughters amidst the camp days, from those dao games to jokes helped each day to pass quickly. a different experience compared to a freshie last yr. chao ji programmer!...programmer so good! a slogon used once a yr :)

simpsons movie :)

funny. :) good for laughters movie! thanks to xl, had a really budget meal and movie pass with all the coupons u had. haas...that gave me room for spending on shopping though. a day out for total relaxation. lunch, movie, shopping :)

finally. reflections.

3 mths holiz has come to an end. been a fulfilling holiday. spent a long time working, yet the rest of the time was spent catching up with old frenz. though it could have been better, i have no regrets. lots of problems cropped up this holiz, yet one by one it was settled. the ppl ard me helped me get back to my usual self, to not dwell on any unhappiness. sch will offically start in 4 hrs. so preparation starts now. notes printing sessions again :)

finally. 3 mths of work ended. wanna say thanks to the ppl below who made the times spent at M2B much more enjoyable than expected :) time flew there working. learnt quite a lot from the ppl there as well as the working environment. nearing the end of work, realized that some ppl wld be missed :)

above: me, sirong, shiann haw, alan, jackie-IT department
our lunch buddies :) always accompanying us for lunches and offering us tibits during work. their company has been great! introduced us to many ppl in the company and helped us settle down. without them, we wld not have felt as much as part of the company

above: collin, sarah, me, sirong, andrew, christing (ivan missing)

ppl working on the first floor. really friendly and warm :) because of them, we felt so welcomed on the first day of work! esp collin, sarah and ivan who works in the showroom and showed us the ropes :)

above: me, grace, sirong

my neighbour! stays in the block beside me :) always see each other at the bus-stop. always willing to help us when required. n not forgetting to thank u for the gifts u bought for us!

above: mike, me, sirong
'boss' our nick for him! haha he is really very funny n entertaining! his actions and words are so funny that always make us smile behind our desk. nice guy. :)

n of course, my buddy for these 3 mths :) who is always there beside me, listening, complaining, whinning tgt! no matter how tired u are, u have never fail to bring smiles onto my face. all our gossips by Mr. K etc etc...was tiring yet part of the memories we shared tgt. i've NOT regret working so far, because the people i have come to know are great! thank you for the memories! :) some ppl i have missed out-michelle, siew khim(our boss), Mr K, serena