Apprehensive.

1 more day to hopefully my last exams for CIMA. Let's hope all goes well and I pass this last exam. It matters quite a lot given that it officially marks my freedom and $$ coming in. Been more than 2 years of studying while working. It had been a mad rush recently as i tried to speed up the process.

With slightly more than a month to our wedding, the stress is finally starting to set in. It does feel that quite a number of things have yet to be settled. But unfortunately we can't do anything this month, so have to wait till Sept before we get the ball rolling again. Though the wedding isn't really what i had dreamed for, but let's do it well.

It's going to be a traditional chinese wedding tea ceremony and dinner, but one that hopefully engages the guests with the little touches we added in =) the only thing i sincerely hope for, is that all the guests turn up as half the wedding banquet belongs to elders that we don't know. let's hope there wouldn't be many empty seats.

Still a lot of things on my mind - a Master and my career on top of the above. Let's resolve 1 item at a time.

Counting down, 2 months...= )

Counting down...
1 day to exams - hopefully i can pass both papers this time round, been more than 2 years of studying. hopefully i can finish off the rest by this year so that i can move on to accomplishing the other targets in life

1 week to wedding photos selection and food tasting

1 month to a short 3 days Maldives getaway - can't wait to see the blue clear waters, away from work and the daily stress of life and only being surrounded by waters, fishes, sunrise and sunset

4 months + 2 weeks to wedding tea ceremony - officially marks the beginning of "Married" life, still in denial, lol

4 months + 3 weeks to wedding banquet - just hope all will be smooth and fun = ) hope i wouldn't have to don on super thick makeup as it is so unlike me

6 months to honeymoon!! My most looked forward portion of the entire countcount = ) new york, nigeria falls, boston, florida disneyland + thanksgiving shopping, all in early winter! it was a very last min change of mind, but definitely something that i am super excited about. seems like i need to save up a sizeable amount from now...

(not to countdown the in between that will be happening at the same time, 2 work peaks, maybe 1 more exam in nov etc)

Life is indeed exciting, taking each step in awe. 2013 is and will be a fulfilling year indeed.

CAREER

Having attended the Airline Industry Course in Johor, it was an eye-opener. It not just widened my perspective of the airline industry but it gave opportunities to interact with the rest of the course mates from different parts of the organization. This exposure was very interesting indeed.

Over the 3 days, I met station managers, pilots, revenue management, network planners, flight controllers etc etc. I learnt a lot about the people, their job and their experiences. Most of them had been to many parts of the world that made me feel myopic, both in general knowledge of the world as well as the industry.

It gave me ample understanding of the complexity of the industry and how we all work hand-in-hand together for the organization. At the end of the day, it struck me at how lost I am at planning my career. All along, I followed the easiest path that led me to the places I thought would be good, yet at each cross road, I would question myself whether this is really what I want to do. Studying accountancy, going to Big 4 then being an accountant seems to be a natural job progression towards my goal, yet I realized I have missed the most important thing in my life. Passion. (coincidentally, this is the name of my group's new airline.) 

Being a strong believer that your passion brings you far, yet I fell right through the trap, not knowing where my own passion lies. It is time to re-evaluate my career plans indeed. This will probably start firstly from..to stay not not to stay in the airline industry..

This is probably one of the most interesting industry to be in and if I were to decide to stay with this industry, a serious consideration on moving out of finance would be seriously viable. Mission on: Discovery of passion...

The last CNY celebration as a kid.

As I ate my reunion dinner at home, I know deep down that this is the last reunion dinner I might have at home with my family on chinese new year's eve. Laughing around with my brothers, chitchatting with my parents over the reunion dinner food and the usual table talk, something I am so used to doing for the last 20 years since I moved to my new house. Every year, the reunion dinner is a simple steamboat but it is indeed one of the rare occasion that we sat together on the dining table at home to have a meal together. We only have a steamboat feast once a year, having a spread of food. I am going to miss this feeling indeed.

This year officially marks my last CNY year happily going around to receive red packets. Next year, the table will be turned. Somehow it feels a bit weird to think otherwise, to be the first among my cousins to do so. Getting married involves a lot of growing up, though much wishing that I don't have to.

All the above are the little things that sometimes made me apprehensive about getting married. I would miss my immediate family a lot, their companionship accompanying me for the last 20 odd years. Their acceptance of my tantrums, my ignorance and my childishness. Only when I am at home, I can act like I am still a little kid. The transition of shedding this side of myself will be difficult, the start accepting the role of a wife and a in-law will be different, very different indeed.

But we know that this is a must-go-through process for all eventually.

All I want to do now for this remaining year till Oct is to appreciate my family and my extended family more, to spend a bit more time with them and love them more.