initially guilt was all that was on my mind. now all those guilt has been converted into warmth.

my negligence costs lost efforts, lost time and more than $2000. was feeling super upset, terrible and apologetic. yet i was not scolded by anyone. felt even worse. hall became a place to escape in the end.

in the end, everyone was more concerned bout my reaction cos i was so withdrawn and just so quiet, refusing to speak my mind. mum and dad called to take care many times. bro reassued me that he was not irritated and not angry. suddenly i realised how hard everyone is trying to reassure that the mistake was nothing. haas but somehow the more they do, the worse i felt. lolz. nonetheless i am glad to feel such warmth in the family. now i know optimism and forgiveness run in the family. in the midst of all the guilt, i wanna say more than thank you. i realized how fortunate i m with all the ppl surrounding including the person who listened :)

women*

• are emotionally unstable creature
• possess weird, putting it nicer unique, way of thinking
• undergoes mood swing super fast
• ....
• ....the list goes on

*correction. maybe not women, but me.

always been a reserved person whose mood and thoughts may be hidden or displayed depending on condition and degree of closeness. wonder wat was wrong with me for the last 2 days...at least there is a resolution at the end of it :) the gal is striving to make each day a happy day and strongly believes it is possible and achievable :) haha there is no way i can understand the way my mind goes. interesting. more interestingly, i m amazed at guys' ability to withstand the rollercoaster rides they are being brought into (in general :)) i guess no one understands what i m saying nvm...i think i am also not sure.

haha suddenly i realized there is no one close in hall taking the same subjects as me anymore. so that means i only complain to cheelz they all. that means i can't complain back in hall anymore either cos we are all having different forms of stress...:)

oh no! i've dropped so much hair and ate so much sweets that it has reached the unhealthy level!

each day is a wonderful day :)

young at heart :) - a post written for the missing member half the globe away :)

it has been a long time since i felt so happy at home. everyone was in high spirits. everyone was feeling extremely good. yeah i miss those times a lot :)

mum was full of jokes(eh though she was the one laughing over her own jokes most of the time. lolz), dad was smiling throughout. bro was equally cheerful. me was joining in conversations, laughing and just immersing myself in the feeling of home again. as for the missing member, u were part of the crowd today with your phone call :)

'make the best out of the situation' though i was the one who said it, i learnt the most out of it today. i m sorrie for all the tempers i have thrown, all the rebellious me. haas reflecting on my own actions, you may have been disappointed with me. wellz still in the growing process maz...so sometimes i really can't help it though i know its inappropriate. at least i took home sth this wkend. let this be the start of something new. maybe this sem has turned out much better than thought :)

mum is really young at heart. reaching the clinic first, she exclaimed' wo di yi!' lolz i really can't help it but smile la...haha now i know where does all my childish genes come from. like a kid, she ran and be the first to pick up your call, so full of excitment and joy at hearing your voice. she called me when she reached home to ask whether i reached the room when she was in the same car that fetched me back. wat a wonderful weekend i had though it was only one day :)

2 of the committee i m in for the yr :)

PAINTBALL! :) its super fun and exciting la. (though i nv try before myself) cannot be missed one k...and of course cos its chaired by YY and me and with a group of chio bu and shuai ges...niners must come down support kz...:)

KAYAKING! one of my fav activites cos you get to see the horizons and sunbathe(cum sun burnt) roomie and jen chairing :) don't it it either!

in 15th aniversary comm for managing of funds too..haha i haven't receive the photos yet...:)

serious moments

2:3oam in the morning blogging despite a long day ahead. mind switched off. tutorials left undone. just some reflections upon my life right now. not doing well for quizzes and tests. not being prepared for classes. not understanding taxation. struggling with school work alone is leaving me feeling a little strained. took up a double spec when i am not even doing very well. haha but it is really not the time to complain or feel demoralized. since it has alr been taken up, i can just try to do my best. :) wellz for everyone struggling with sch, let's all jia you tgt!

social life has indeed been reduced to close to zero. rejected so many offers to go out, to relax, or even to eat when it used to be yes almost all the time. haha seems like priority has set in for me. apologies alone is not enough. i can only say i'll try to make up during the holiz. for the nxt 1 mth, haha work plays the highest priority cos i know this sem hasnt' been an easy going sem, seems to have many things cropping up. trying to adapt to new envionment isn't as easy as expected. my life seems to have taken a really huge turn this sem with many things loading my mind. do understand...

lastly, wanna say how appreciated you are. whenever i have doubts, u always allured my fears. whenever i feel like giving up, seeing you just make me forget that thought. despite being able to give you so little in return for what u've given, u've always understand and nv expected much from me in return. thank you!

"accountants are no different from lawyers and doctors. one has to work hard to gain the respect and income"

that defines what i have decided to do. 3 yrs in one of the big four(preferably pwc), take my cpa, know more about the corporate world and rethink about my future path then. considering bank. shld not start to ambitiously. as for the long hrs, i guess efforts wld have to be put in for the pay.

my first ever laughed-so-much run. haven't even started running and stomach aching from laughter thanks to yy for her interesting train of thoughts on pregnancy exercises and jenny's interesting comments during the run.

don't understand my own train of thoughts which is ever so common. thoughts flash past. just like a normal person.

one of those rare times i would bring out photos. been a long long time since i have been to sentosa to play. put aside everything to enjoy the sun. beach, frisbee, nice scenary, sea, song of the sea, skyride, sparkers. memories. marks the start of mugging season with lots of catching up to do. no more distractions till the end of exams :) thanks for your understanding, your patience and everything else :)

finally this week is over. the result...

xxxx xxx xxxx
Schedule of mental health
for the week ended 6 october 2007

Beginning status 0
Add: sleep (hrs) 30
eat (hrs) 8
rest (hrs) 1
Maximum possible status 38
less: ending status 0
mugging(hrs) 82


*assumptions: (1) information collected based on what is remembered
(2) subjective to different person the defination of rest, mugging
(3) mental health has been measured by hrs, hence there is no deficits. zero is the minimum possible level

the above schedule can be argued according to HP Act no 1. it does not portray accurately the mental health of a person..........
hence more information is required before a conclusion can be drawn.

haha this is a result of studying accounting, company law and tax for 1 week. if u don't understand, its alright. just trying to entertain myself....lolz...:) quiz shall not be thought about at this pt in time anymore. move on...

wahahaha i m blogging again. lolz seems like lots of things to blog about these few days...maybe i jus wanna leave some thoughts written down.

happy 20th birthday! it doesn't matter whether u r reading this blog or not, cos all that matter is the friendship established. for many yrs, i've remembered this special day of yours, and will rmb for yrs to come.

2nd october will always be etched in my mind. 8 yrs ago, a fren came into my class to sit beside me to chat. not thinking there was sth special, i jus chatted normally with u until u surprised me by telling me that it is your birthday. i didn't know. nxt yr, u did the same thing. yet i still forgot till u mentioned again. didn't rmb again and again. yet u've nv scolded me, always reminding me on that day. furthermore, u've never failed to rmb my birthday every yr, always making the efforts to call me on that day, even in the midst of exams. i've been utterly touched by this friend, a fren who is often so ready to pick up the phone to call to chat. who has nv fail to rmb my birthday and making this friendship a lifelong one. 8 yrs and still counting. a fren i'll nv forget. a friendship that i treasure for life. a friend whose sincerity in making the friendship work and be rmb is a fren worth knowing. happy birthday gal! its my honor to know you! :)

i rmb our promise to keep in touch even when we are 60yrs old, to reminisce upon our days in np even when we are grandmas :)

passed the stress period (at least for this week) what's left is only determination to complete the week as best as i can :)

what's in store for me this week?
tue: 2 project meetings
wed: tax tutorial presentation, meeting at night
fri: submission of law written assignment
sat: acc quiz

have not really started on many of them, maybe that was why i suddenly felt overwhelmed coupled with other things on mind yesterday. shall keep myself behind close doors for this week again. hopefully nxt week wld be relatively more relaxed. otherwise....consequences unknown...lolz. :)