'if life goes the way you want it each time, there will be no challenges.' hp

learning from mistakes, moving on and embracing each day with a smile. There is so much more to learn each day. like always, i look forward, never backwards :)

In search of my destiny, a destiny i have to discover on my own.

A working weekend.

For the past few months, I have been rather cooped up in my little hole. Noted that I have been digging down the hole like an ostrich, burying my head underground with no idea of the world going on around me. Till a day last week, this ostrich stopped digging the hole, jumped into the hole and held the head up above the ground. luckily the hole isn't too deep yet as I can stand and see the world around me. Then, the first question i asked was: i noted you have more hair on your head now. oblivious to my surroundings, only living in my own world has been the lifestyle i have been leading.

peak has been real long, never seem to break since it started in Jul. knocking off at 8pm is early, 10pm is my usual, 12pm is slightly late and 2am is late. life goes on day after day. felt like i have not seen my family much, often spending whatever remaining time i have with Mr GH. this misery is deep and people around me probably felt it much. i was resolved to change this, hence, on one Monday morning, I woke up filled with excitment like how it was on 1 Oct 2009 when I was all ready to start work. unfortunately, this enthusiam could not last past 2 days. By Tue evening, I was way too exhausted.

i wonder how this engagement has the power to demoralize and break people down, noting from its history that every girl on this job probably has dropped at least a tear on this job or maybe a bucket. been a while since i broke down over a job, but i did again. demoralized right to the bottom of the pit plus this engagement sure mould me into a sour grouchy teary emotional fellow. i have heard too many times about how strong i am seemingly holding up by seniors and by peers as i try not to show signs of a failing heart but the closest to me seems to be bearing all my nonsences. nonetheless, knowing myself, i will keep going on. going on till i found my heart's desire which i believe i will one day.

putting work aside, been thinking quite a bit these days about girls. looking back from a year ago, i noted that ambitions of girls have indeed changed including myself. other priorities have come forth and moving up the corporate ladder is less of an importance. no longer do i yearn to earn lots of money or become the CFO of an MNC, i am just contented with a stable job, a sufficiently stable source of income with a simple family and some friends. thinking back, years ago i would probably have laughed it off and do not believe that this mentality would be for me. yes, i still wish to be a successful career woman, juggling well in work, family and friends but audit makes me realize that if i had to choose one, i clearly know which i want.

*smilez* on a side note, i enjoyed phuket. pretty scenary, spending time with friends while relaxing. enjoyed spending time walking along the beaches, eating pancakes and just walking time away. however, seems like i have not had enough time recently with work occupying the majority. nonetheless, i will keep my smile and my motto on.

Strive, Believe, Achieve. Simplicity and sincerity :)

5 days to clear my mind, totally away from work.

yet to reach my destination but the journey has been hard, so hard that i am thinking of giving up. i have been pushed so close to the point of breaking down that i snap. usually calm and composed, usually able to keep my cool but somehow last week, i was so exhausted. continously late nights alone past midnight was demoralizing, continously calls from my seniors to do random chores broke a routine of work. perhaps what made it worse was i do not see an end to this journey. this is just the start of interims, just the start of quarter 3 and just the start of the audit of subsidaries. yet all i see are just bits and pieces of work. none of the work see a proper closure, all seem to be dangling some where, exactly what i dislike most.

i love seeing a conclusion to the work, yet formalities and restrictions seem to forbide the proper closure. seeing the product lacking in quality disheartens me further as i have always been a believer of producing good quality work but tight deadlines are further restrictions. sometimes i wonder is it because of me? but i choose to believe i have done my best. if my best isn't reaching expectations, there is really nothing much more i can do. my last standing friend of my level on this engagement has also handed in the resignation. looking at this big engagement team from last year, all i see are 3 seniors (with 2 going concern), 1 AM and 1 manager remaining. the rest have left one after another and the remaining team are new. a repeat of history seeing itself where every night i only see our engagement left besides this other bank.

goals have always been part of my journey in life, setting the path exactly how i want to walk. i know right from the start since i started working what i am chasing for in life but somehow the journey seem too hard for me.

2 more days left to clear my mind and to decide my journey on. to chase after my dreams or to alter my goals? it may be a tough decision to make. but i never turn back on each decision i made. just like i enjoyed audit and never look back upon the 375 days ago since i joined.

Oh my gosh, this is a paradise place - Mantanani Island in Sabah.
waters are so clear around the island.

Paradise No 2: Sipadan Islandthere are so many places i want to travel to. sabah next year in 2011? europe in 2012? saving saving up money please...

argh how abut mongolia, china, korea, south africa, US, india, philipines, vietnam, cambodia, laos etc?

i almost turned into a cynical grumpy fellow over the last one week thanks to 2 incidences. surprising i love my work, though i hate the timing and sometimes bosses.

surprising, power and money have never been a driving factor for me at work but knowledge is.



certain circumstances almost drove me to believe power does wonders when someone may take away my opportunity of a course leaving me in no position to reject. then, i was so upset because it made me change my mindset of what a real working life may be sometimes. i do not wish that working life will change me to believe in things of life.

i was so tired by the end of the week that i slept for 10hours on sat night from 9:30pm. lol at least i managed to exlaim on sunday morning: for once in the week, i was awake and fresh when i woke up. shiok. ready for the week ahead :)

Some time back, the display of yummy dim sum we had :)

3rd year anniversary @ Universal Studios on 10 September 2010.
THE LOST WORLD

Water world

Little little dinosaurs

me growing out of the shell

eeewww digging nose

MADAGASCAR

The mascots - penguins

welcome to madagascar!

The cars, looking suave posing with a black car

me posing with a white car

FAR FAR AWAY LAND

King Ong Guan Heng with an oversized crown

oh my frog prince :)

our first merry-go-round

EGYPTION

treasure hunting :)

this photos look good!
Puss in boots :)

together with USS mascot. wahaha will always remember the rub rub tummy incident. so funny!

with the lion, which we had to run around looking for it

the serious, intense look
my presents for the day of celebration. sweet. :)

it has been 3 years, so fast so fast. the self drawn picture contains so much efforts that it touched me lots. always having a soft spot for handmade things for the time, effort and love within, it really touched me lots. how i wish i have a cupboard to display out your talent for art. haha but it will make my gifts much paler in comparison. lolz.

changes will inevitably occur everyday, every moment. relationships will grow, will change but it is important to learn how to let the growing process adapt accordingly. each of us have shortcomings but walking with you the journey of life is probably so challenging, it will be the focus of life. the days of fearing loneliness, the days of feeling down from feeling the lack of qualities in myself are inevitable. but no one is perfect and each of us are still in the learning process. 3 years and counting.

HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY, DEAR! :)

An early birthday celebration for you, simple but hope you enjoyed it. Much apologize for the grumpiness and stubboness at the start of the celebration which dampen the spirits slightly. But thank you for your patience that afternoon. $10 wasted dollars up the Pinnale. Really excellent view but was too hungry and grumpy to appreciate it fully. a real pity that i did not take any photos.

Lunch at 4:30pm was home prepared spring roll and black pepper chicken. woah took me a long 4 hours of preparation of ingredients and cooking from 10am. Sure experienced and understood the nobleness of a chef to prepare food.

Tried many attempts at this black pepper chicken before presenting that day :) but somehow the previous attempts did not help in making it more delicious. lol.

First time trying my hands on the spring roll. it was quite a good attempt :)

Went all the way to suntec to buy 2 slices of this cake from rive gauche. it was really really nice :)

Making a wish...

The slices of cake that looks a little toppled and messy

Next was Voyage De la Vila @ Resorts World! But before that, we managed to get a tub of B&J for FREE each at vivo!

tickets was not cheap...

the amazing acrobat with flexibility that stuns the audiences totally

other acrobats

the juggler was amazing.

Journey of life. the seven stages of life - illusion, life, death, love, balance, friendship, determination.

Singapore very first circus. Excellent was the word to describe it. Money was worthwhile spent that I will go again if I had the opportunity.

Finally, the evening ended with a simple dinner and a powerpoint presentation. lol with no gift purchased at the moment, there is just so much reluctance to end the day without a present. Stayed at till 3am on friday just to complete a set of powerpoint slides. With lots of hiccups along the way, this little last minute presentation sumed up all i want to say.

The memories we have, the times we shared.

Together let's walk hand-in-hand, towards the future of hope and dreams.

I may not promise a lifetime of excitment,

Nor a lifetime quarrel-free.

But I promise a lifetime of companionship,

And a lifetime of love.

Amazing how 3 years went by and the 3 years of birthday celebrations cum anniversary celebrations. Sometimes there was really unhappiness but you are so patient, so understanding that i feel ashamed of myself. hope you enjoyed this special day i planned just for you.

Happy 25th birthday :)

Photos Mania!
HAPPY 45th BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!
national day preview 2010 @ padang with super pretty backdrop this year.
under the really scotching sun, i decided to bring out the umbrella

start of parade with theme - red and white

uh oh, of all banks, i spot ocbc building at the background.

parachutes in the air!

flying our flag proudly across the sky

NDP 2010

5 stars arising

the national day goodies!

Proudly presents. Majulah Singapura

FIREWORKS

Sparkling stars

Some random photos of the past. cooking session with 3 potential famous cooks.

Our molten hot chocolate cake

but it was a bit too much. nonetheless a good attempt :)

our aglio aglio spagetti. yummy delicious.

US :)

somehow every weekend passes so fast that it is so hard to capture every minute every moment. the long weekend was fruitfully spent starting with saturday at jb. now i understand the luxury of driving in and around if one is familar with the area. thanks to gh's friends, we were able to travel around easily and learnt a good massage location. due to some really unforseen circumstances, sunday was a day spent at sentosa. monday morning is our yearly family day event - walk-a-ton :)

i never felt like i have grown up, always that little ger with a childish mindset who loves nothing more than playing each weekend. nonetheless, let's appreciate each of these precious day.