i look at all my activities planned. yet there isn't exactly one activity that i really look forward to. why. where did all my enthusiam went? somehow its one holiz where there isn't exactly one thing i wanna do. at least last yr, i wanted to go sentosa rather badly but the weather sure spoiled my plans many times. until i gave up..haha this sem, i donno. with the unpredictable weather, maybe it is better this way.

i think i still prefer sunny days. cos bright and sunny days sure brighten up one's mood too. rainy days make me donno wat i can do. wanted to take a stroll ard my hse alone, yet walking with an umbrella with potentially wet slippers doesn't appeal to me at all. had this sudden urge to drench myself in the heavy rain, feeling raindrops splatter upon me. yet i have no wish to fall sick. haha maybe i'll consider doing that one day when i m in a totally lousy mood. think it will definately make me feel better. wahahaha maybe this is a different way from drowning oneself in sorrows through drinking. the other option i considered was jus watching the heavy rain fall through the windows. always remember childhood stories where one can observe people caught in the rain while one is comfortably settled in the house. warm and cosy. yet this is not feasible either cos 1) i can't see many ppl out from my window since its relatively sheltered and covered from the main road 2) it is not pouring continuously either. concluded that maybe this the storybook image doesn't exist in singapore.

maybe i should change my perception. i M looking forward to my holiz! IT's HOLIDAYS! muahahahaha...look the camp nxt week is going to let me immerse myself in community service, engaging myself with kids and i'll learn to count my blessings :) and the season of joy and a new yr is approaching! we shld always embrace ourselves for a better yr ahead. take this holiz to love the people ard you. take this golden time to enjoy each minute. afterall these are precious moments *smilez* alright i m feeling way much better!

ps: sorrie this is a confusing entry where my thoughts changed in a minute. *smilez* i think typing out your thoughts sometimes do help a lot! esp typing positive mindset!

m i really doing things i want? or doing things so that others wld be happy...but i donno wat i want cos i jus want others to be happy