i finally tried my hands upon the using those online collages, so much easier! no need to piece them up tgt myself.

by the beach with my new year resolution. left on the sand, to be washed away into the sea :) i love ecp in particular, i love it lots.

i still have the thrill of driving on the roads, probably cos i only get to try once every few months. first time went up an expressway. ooh i wasn't as scared as i was previously but i sure wasted quite a lot of oil when i stepped hard on the accelarator and i can feel the heartache of the owner. i realize how hard it is to try to observe the directional road signs while trying to prevent myself from being a road hazard. eh i could only think of going straight, straight and straight.

christmas is a beautiful season of joy. i love the lights up and the festive mood. merry christmas! :)

the weekends are...

so precious that i don't know how to allocate my time btw family, friends and myself.
so short that it's just not enough time.

these few weekends, i have mostly spend my time with my family. after 22years, i finally brought mummy shopping at orchard and bugis for 2sundays consecutively. after 22 years, i finally brought my cousins out for a movie, just like how my aunts used to bring us out. (have to thank dar who initiated it) after 22 years, i have finally tasted my grandma's signature dish for the first time that is not sold in singapore. family, whom i tend to neglect. family, whom i didn't spend more time with. family, the warmth is always there no matter how long i didn't see them. family, my one and only but best asset i have.

frankly i miss my friends, especially old friends whom i used to chat lots and laugh around with. since work started, the number of times i turned up for gatherings can probably be easily counted in 2 hands. yet since work started, i really want to go home for dinner or meet dar if i get to knock off early which occurs really rarely. hence, i am totally looking forward to the christmas seasons! *smilez* it's afterall a season to bring smiles back onto the jaded work face and embrace the festive season in the company of friends.

working life is so different that i really appreciate the freedom of school. nonetheless, at least i am starting to settle in a bit, and learning to smile more in the process rather than being hidden below a pile of work. complains are inevitable but i am nonetheless contented.

on a final note, i realized love might dull over time of courtship, but what keeps it going is the warmth and companion, each willing to share little meanings in everyday life that keeps it going. just like, we might neglect our families, but they will never forsake us. love must reach that level of comfort and support before it becomes truly love. learning.

November has been a blessed month.

recalling the few surprises i had, thank you for remembering. that's the best gift :) i have nv been the most entertaining or most noisy among the crowd, yet i am most thankful and blessed to meet some really great pals along my life.

i love the friends i met in office, the lunch kakis and support who will bring me through my audit life. at this point, we have full strength though we all know that this group will shrink slowly. melaka had been a short 2 days but enough to tire us. i rmb the food, the laughters and the drunkards we had.

2 months had passed since work began. it hasn't been fast, neither has it been slow. the job i'll most probably be stuck in forever is a good exposure and a starting point. at a low point in time, i almost wanted to call quits to this client, leaving it for good. but i am unwilling to leave this good learning ground. together with my buddies on this job, we decided to hang in there together. though i don't think i make a good auditor, i'll still stick on for as long as i can learn, hopefully 3 years. made many mistakes along the way especially since i am quite careless and i do wonder if it will affect my appraisal. *smilez* surprisingly, i have managed to be kept quite happy at work despite my lacking social life. indeed a workaholic i am becoming. i am totally loving this long weekend!

Work.

i realized how difficult it is to disassociate oneself from work. work is never-ending and the number of times i've brought home work to do is uncountable. i am tired not from work, but from the difficulty of sleeping on certain nights. there was a night i close my eyes and all i saw was excel spreadsheets. scary.

been entrusted with tasks to complete. what makes it tough isn't the nature of the work but trying to understand what or how to do. i spend half the day figuring out all by myself all the terms used in banks and understanding the operations and regulations surrounding it. it is quite taxing and stressful esp when i am totally clueless and the entire bank operation is so big. at least, i am quite happy to be learning.

however, i realized how unsatisfied i am on the quality of work produced that results in moodiness at times. my only consolation is the lunches. *smilez* where all the gossips, all the swearing, all the complains come out.

much as i would want to be happier, many nights i come home tired with no energy to chat or become irritating whiny. hay ya! i need to get back to being myself with more energy! HAI YA! KACHA! happy happy, wee wee, smiley smiley, heehee. i think i am going mad! i am so glad the weekends are here again!

Memorable weekend.

Been a long long time since i stayed up for the entire night cos since year 2 of hall i began to believe sleeping is very important. haha. so what was the reason for staying up? MJ-ing and wii-ing. wii is fun at chalet! quite a new experience playing with people i don't even know. *smilez* i think i am in love with wii-tennis though i m totally very lousy at it. wii-bowling was super funny and i learnt a stunt from gh's sis to score high results. being her night, she was super high.

next was mj. haha to me, it was a session for me to lose money to all the pros around me. they are super zai and my wins are so small compared to theirs. each time i only win 40c per person. Their win was like $6 per person. wa. totally got thrashed but learnt quite a bit. slowly slowly learn...

finally the game ended at 5:30. travelled all the way from the jurong east to east coast park with the hope of catching sun rise but the weather was too cloudy. nonetheless, we had breakfast at Macs. both of us were so tired, we took a short nap in the car at ecp. haha wells, i literally slept through and didn't mind the unglamourous sight. lolz.

my senior asked: are you stressed? i said: no. but i think i am masking my stress. work is beginning. thankfully i have a very nice senior.

From the top of the bridge above the railway and highway near my house at 8am today, i shouted out. it was a random crazy thing that i always wanted to do.

It started with a short run around my house which i couldn't sustain arising from a tummyache halfway. hence, i walked the rest of the journey home where i had to pass through a bridge with minimal pedestrians. randomly, an idea struck me to stop and look quietly at the cars zooming below me while feeling the wind blowing against my face. then, i shouted, probably still shy of shouting at the top of my lungs, but nonetheless it is a nice feeling of relieve. there are minimal people around me and those that could actually hear me probably wouldn't be bothered to stop me while the cars zooming by can't hear me with their windows rolled up.

I have tendency to do random things whenever i feel like doing. be it drenching myself intentionally in a downpour, singing loudly in the back of my dad's lorry in the past, shouting on a bridge, lying alone on henderson waves observing or dancing and skipping along a path are just one of the few things i had done. these are all very simple things but many times i felt shy in public. These are the simple things i enjoy in the midst of life.

i want to maintain my weekly morning run :)

so far, life has been manageable. the many ntu grads in the company makes working life much more enjoyable knowing that many peers are in the same shoe as i am.

did my first overtime till 1:30am on one of the training days. woah quite an experience working so late with the entire team of ard 10ppl each rushing. i foresee more of such days coming, wellz at least i am prepared. frankly, i do not know how long can i last but i'll definately try. *smilez* my only motivation is that i am here to learn, to learn as much as i can.

it is getting harder and harder to concentrate during tuition, especially when it's after work and after a day of ot-ing so late into the night. seriously, i can't wait for tuition to end nxt weekend cos i think i am becoming a lousy teacher by each session.

Finally, i spent a day at home resting at night. yes, i love it and i love it lots. finally, i looked at the photos taken with the hall ppls upon graduation. finally, i want to say a big thank you to the ppl and friends i met in hall over the last 3 years cos they made life in NTU one of the most memorable times i have. have i ever thank this group of friends properly? haha maybe not. yes so here it is, thank you.

wishing each and every one of my friends a successful career and life ahead as many embarked on our journey into the working life. zz i am so randam...but i meant it :)

I lost my first overseas opportunity for my first audit assignment cos i was scared and couldn't give a definate reply on the spot. It came too impromptu on the first day of proper work and i had no time to think. It was a great opportunity that many would have dreamt of. haiz i realized now that opportunities wait for no one. Cast away the fear NOW and GRAB IT the next time. i am scared of taking planes but i know i can't afford to keep this fear if i really wanna go far and enjoy audit.

i promise myself. this will be the first and last time i let such opportunity slip by. the next time, i would say a resounding YES. but i know the next opportunity may be a long long time later. but there is no point thinking about the lost opportunity.

i thought i would be given time to consider, but i had lost the opportunity already.

i am so slow.

got bored of korean dramas and at a lost of what HK dramas to watch. watched a few shows here and there but there wasn't one that i really enjoyed. till...i thought of FRIENDS. haha okays it made me laughed so much in a short period of time. definately something i need now..haha thumbs up :)

away from working life. a 1 week break before proper work starts. there are so many things i wanna say but somehow i can't seem to express anything properly.

work isn't all about a fixed 8hrs job. it's about the enjoyment and achievement that'll make each day fruitful. the last few weeks, i didn't mind the lots of ot-ing, the short lunch break or the pay. i was there to do my best for the job without regards for anything else. probably what was on my mind was all about how the small me can contribute as much as i can without making any careless mistake. i wonder what was the reason that drives me. i am not sure myself. at the end of it, i know i was happy.

had a short weekend getaway to melaka :) *smilez* i like backpacking! i like backpacking! stayed in a simple nice clean hostel luckily with no mosquitoes for that night. unfortunately, went during the wrong period of time and many tourist attractions wasn't open. afterall being in malaysia over hari raya wasn't a good choice..haha. explored on feet melaka city and circled it at least 3 times. small and buzzling with tourists indeed it is.

what i remembered most was the eating, eating and eating. ate every 3hrs trying out the various food that it is the highlight for the trip. lol. i realized i like to have everything planned properly, not adventurous enough to book the accommodation over in melaka and insisted on booking late online on fri night.

sat: left home at 5am after 2hrs of sleep and reached melaka city by 11am. lost while trying to find the hostel but found accomodation for the 2nd night and ate our first dish of nice beef noodles :) it wasn't too bad that we walked too far either. toured the city, sightsee a few landmarks, chengdo dessert. yummy. shopped, massaged, ate the famous chicken rice balls and walk ard chinatown before rain arrived.

sun: simple dim sum breakfast, a jap backpacker intro us to a nearby market, morning hike up to fortress, nonya laksa and dessert, zhi char lunch, shopping since many tourist attractions were closed, A&W-ed, secret recipe as teabreak, seafood dinner at a ulu place, stingray supper at chinatown. figured our way back hostel based on instincts. backpacking is definately fun. i love melaka, a small town. a simple and affordable way to spend a long weekend. working life is different, but it'll be a challenge worth going through with smiles. after a week break, i will be ready :)

PHOTOS UPDATE!
a bit slow, but really had to thank my bro and his fren for taking a day off his busy schedule for some outdoor photo shoot without anything in return. they may not be the best photos taken but we are all very contented with it.
mirror image.

at crossroad.

4 directional.

my bro's fav.

his fren's fav.

our grandfather road where the photographers and ourselves risked our lives for the photo.

symmetry. thank you for the editing done too.

i like the sky! i realize nice photographs depend partly on the weather too...too bad we didn't choose a really good day.

running

elaine, i wanna the hall ones too! haha...

random. haagan das ice-cream at $3! yummy yummy.

Birthday Celebration 2009.

one of the few days i planned a day full of activities...*smilez* did a little more this year, maybe cos i am afraid once auditing starts, i wouldn't be able. hope you enjoyed it.

hightlighting some selective events for the day with photos. dinner at werner's oven! *smilez* yeah made a right choice for someone who loves german sausage.

a special homemade 'cake' 3 layered chocolate, peanut and orea. thought it was quite nice :)

only 2 candles? nopez...the rest of the 22 candles are...tata! here...
happy 24th birthday!

ended my job in standard chartered officially. it had been an excellent learning experience esp in meeting the people there. learnt a lot from boss, manager and their wealth of experience. i still have a long way to go in the corporate world. less than 1 more mth to go...now i don't want the day to come to start work...

sometimes selfishness arises from circumstances but the feeling of burden is heavy. maybe making right choices at the start would have been better. learning

came and left a footprint.

came wanting to leave some pictures but blogger seems to dislike the idea and didn't give me an opportunity. hence, decided to leave some thoughts instead. i never thought i was pampered but i realized i am. from not exactly doing housework at home nowadays to creating commotion at home in a bid to convince my mum. but over the incident, i learnt to compromise. travelling is a luxury, something that i know my parents do not fully agree with especially since they came from an era where they worked their entire life upon supporting the family. hence, i have decided to take a step back and not always demand for things that would upset my parents.

last week was a super hectic week where one of the kids have exams approaching and tuition frequency increased to 3 times a week, effectively i had 5 sessions in 6 days. everyday after work, it was tuition. by friday, i was so shag. what made things worse was that i seem to have troubles sleeping every night.

i have yet to say a special thank you to my brother and his friend who took one day of his time off his busy schedule to take grad shoots from my friends and i! the camera may not have been the best, but i believe all my friends are very happy with the photos and the editing done. some pictures do show the character of the photographer.

this week wld mark the end of my 3 months in standard chartered as a temporary staff but it doesn't mean i have decided to stop working, only changing my working environment. i have learnt a lot from the people, from the things i do. there are so much more i've to learnt from the staffs who each have so much more experience. they have been excellent boss, excellent advisors and great collegues. i had a couple of lunch treats, some of whom i have lunch for the first and last time, yet they treated me to restaurants. They taught me, what goes around comes around. not expecting anything in return, they only asks me to rmb to treat my intern or temp staff next time. they are indeed one of the warmest people i have seen. maybe i have grown more attached to the people here than i realized. i wonder if the offer my boss asked to join them would still be remembered in the years to come. gee, but i realize now why they are so keen to get me on board initially...cos they get referral fees! *smilez* nonetheless, i do enjoy the life of working 9am to 6pm daily in this working environment with minimal ot-ing yet good pay. indeed standard chart was my dream bank and it still is. i enjoyed working in the global wealth department much more than i realized. i enjoyed looking at the various funds and using bloomberg occassionally. *smilez* despite being the last week of work, i can't say enough thank you to the boss who still send me to another bloomberg training on fund analysis.

July was a month that really flew by. Company with the stand chart interns really brightened my days at work, kept me smiling and time really flew by over lunch, over our tea breaks.
the group of guys! entertaining in a different way. lol.
my buddies on level 3 after we shifted down! had tea breaks with them in pantries and always helping one another whenever whoever's work is overwhelming. great buddies.

the gers! haha thanks to them, i nv had to eat alone, nv had to feel lonely, nv had to stop smiling. great company!

goodbye to my buddies n the 2 gers. i'll be lonely on level 3, at least there's still company on level 8.

National Day Parade Preview 2009.

pari might *ahemz*....if she sees this photo. posing with my fav toy for the night! i was lucky to get to view the parade once again this year. each time, it left me with a good feeling. i love this year's parade in particular. felt it was funnier and more interesting than the normal ones. more engaging too with the live broadcast news idea and some laughter. *smilez*

one nice fireworks photo.

random. some baby photos that i managed to dig out from my almost lost photo albums when i shifted house. luckily it was found! otherwise i'll have almost no baby photos...haha then, my fav milk bottle :)

so sweet, so adorable. :)

graduation me, 15 years ago. wonder why my face looks so fierce then...

15 years later, proud to be wearing the convocation gown and graduating from NTU NBS.

many many things came up, went by and time flies too. there are so many things i believed had not been blog. the memories may be lost along the way, like the steamboat with the temps, the lunches in pantry and loud laughters that drew complains, the shopping during lunch etc etc. one of the biggest realization i had was striking a balance in everything. there will be a time we have to give up something for another. I used to believe strongly in maintaining a good balance in relationship and friendships, yet gradually i realized one has to prioritize at times. with a close to 7-workdays boyfriend, we have gradually stepped into the arena of our very first hurdle to cross. on our first day tgt, i rmb saying: what awaits us is not petty issues but life challenges. i never thought schooling days would pose much issues but i believe working life would be difference and both will have to adapt to time management while pursuing our careers.

why the sudden urge to blog? it's to tell myself to believe and trust each other. *smilez* this is one big challenge, but it'll be halved when both interests are aligned. the real challenge will begin in 2 months time, so meanwhile enjoy! :)

Today is HP Day. *smilez* finally a break and time to sit down and reflect upon the many many weeks that have passed and how hectic life has been.

there are just too many too many memories created over the few weeks that i can't put down everything. wii session, marina barrage, night scene @ changi village and clarke quay, mangroove walk, tree top walk, shopping, gown trying etc etc.

Marina Barrage with the gals. the gals who never fail to brighten up my days and accommodate to everyone's schedule, meeting on a sunday which is traditionally our family day.

*smilez* picnic kakis :) with each chipping in to help in preparation and not forgetting our production line.

almost full attendance except xiu who can't make it last min. our last all in photo was a long time back, at least a few yrs ago...

our kite-flying session. though unsuccessful, we had a really good laugh then :)

stayed on till the night turns dark to catch the night view of the barrage using stacy's nikon camera which is superb!

lastly, thank you gals. grocery shopping, picnic, phototaking, kite-flying, german bridge and catching up

really random photos that i almost forgot! our mini excusion to little india for some indian fare. nice food, nice experience.

Trip to tree top. quite a random thought cos i really wanted some nature, away from the hustle and bustle of life.

thought this photo was professionally taken. continue walking on, towards the path of light.

totally ill-prepared. bathed before entering the trail, carrying the same bag i carried to work and wearing slippers not knowing having to walk mud. lol.

trapped.

tree top.

washing myself over a stream, something i've not done since climbing and odac days.

some backdated old photos which i've just seen recently and particularly enjoyed the trip during exam period.
Judge GH Ong
prosecuting the line of suspects.

4 weeks, some mini incidences of blurness to brighten up the day and bring some laughter.

1) on the first day of work, i almost spoilt my laptop, stunned my boss when i told me..."eh boss i think i just spoilt my laptop..." he gave me an unbelievably stunned look and a big HUH.

2) flying wallet on the bus when this guy pushed my bag from behind and i lost my grip on my wallet. haha my wallet went woohoo tossing and fliping in the air, landed on someone's lap before landing on the floor. uh oh. stuck out my tongue in pure embarrassment, wanted to hide in the hole then.

thankfully to the few friends who had popped over to lunches and catching up, the weeks passed exceptionally fast. just when i've found company in office to lunch with, it was time to bid them goodbye and was shifted to raffles place. surprisingly, though only 3.5 weeks at plaza, i had a tinge of reluctance to say goodbye and would miss the people there. wellz, have to start accommodating and adapt the the raffles place crowd now. at least, i have an excellent boss.

been a super hectic 4 weeks and almost not having any rest over the tuitions and catching up on weekday nights and weekends, each time coming home to bath and sleep before the nxt day begins. there was a point in time in the first 2 weeks, i was so exhausted i almost wanted to call quits to my temp job, but i hang on knowing that i need the additional income to help clear the uni fees before the interest start kicking in. plus, seeing how those closest to me work so hard, leaves me with no complains. *smilez* nothing beats the catching up with friends and darling every week to bring me back to sanity. finally a super long update :)

temp @ standard chartered.

an experience. work-wise is quite boring. haha. learnt a few things when taking my time to flip through the contracts but after a while, to speed up the productivity, practically jumped straight to the page i know i ought to look at. must keep reminding myself to be contented! afterall i m being paid per hour. lol.

despite knowing that i m sitting right now at a very strategic location if i wanna network with the people there, i don't know how to start a proper conversation esp when my work doesn't require me to talk to them. cos i m sitting where the analysts at a global level are. practically sitting in my dream position if i wanna be in banking.

mm well at least they are starting to be warmer than the first few days. yet on the general level, there is quite limited conversation among the people. haiz. i think i've lots more to learn more about dealing with people too. thank goodness i've a really good boss, very friendly, very patient, very nice. always asked if i wanted to join them for lunches and even afternoon tea. haiz, unfortunately he isn't based in that office and seen him is quite a rarity. hence, the only other person i talk to and is required to speak to is a fresh nus business grad. with the few lunch sessions i had with him so far, at least he is a company. i learnt quite a bit from him indeed. a very self-motivated individual pursuing his dreams headstrong. putting me side by side with him seriously put my own achievements pale in comparison. with his previous internship experiences in fordes, in IBM and almost getting a job in jpmorgan, i can't say he is not zhai. we brought up conversations and he kept me thinking about issues of the uni eduation in singapore that i didn't consider before. double degrees, 3 yr direct honors degree, are they really as good as it seems. nus/ntu/smu business schools. being part of nbs for 3 yrs, somehow i couldn't defend my own school and its quality, putting myself to shame. i can't deny i learnt to look at different perspectives chatting with him.

i realize each and everyone beside me is of high calibre and qualities banks would look at. i wonder if i fall in that category, but i realize currently i m still far from there, not in terms of paper qualifications but in other aspects. somehow all the big bosses intimidate me cos frankly it's the first time i see so many americans and foreign talents around, a well diversed culture. i can't say i haven't learn anything, cos it is the time to brush up on many things here, an excellent opportunity to learn, to test and try. i may nv get to step into the office again, but at least i hope to walk out with experiences. i tried very hard to wake up each morning fresh, happy and smiling when i reach office. it has been tiring, but i wanna continue trying cos i promised to walk away from this job learning as much as i can. gambatte! gambatte to my 3 nights of tuition on top of work too! I CAN DO IT! MUAHAHA:)

A long long backdated grad trip photos. haha a few photos seem to unjustly show the entire trip, yet it summarizes it. *smilez* let the memories of the trip be duly remembered in our hearts instead :)
the first and best milk tea we had!
a memorial arch and indeed memorable. esp with the words written there would be forever gone soon. hence, we were there at a significant time to capture the short lifetime of the 4 words.

Yeliu! one of my fav places :) *beams* partly amused partly amazed by the natural yet unique formation of rocks.

jiu fen. with very nice beef noodles and shaved peanut ice-cream :)

along the journey, we passed by a farm. somehow thought this collage was really nice

hot spring in and near our hotel and one of the highlight of the night was fireworks! yeah! really a good first time experience. yeah imagine setting our own mini fireworks into the sky and watching it explode a few steps away! pretty pretty...haah the shopkeeper seemed really wary of us and supervised us as we set the fireworks at the empty space right beside his shop but his dog sure was braved to watch from right beside the box.

part of day 4 was spent at this village where we tasted some "thunder sth tea". unique was the word to describe, not nice. haha.

wells, looking at the quantity of photos, there are just so many, slowly slowly ba. admittedly i totally dislike taking planes, but still wish to see more of the countries around the world.

the last few days passed really quickly, wrapping dumpling, catching up, looking for temp jobs and having an excusion to an island etc etc. dislike the feeling of waiting and dislike the feeling of rejecting too. contradictory. got a good temp job at standard chartered as analyst. wells, when i got that offer initially, i was excited cos it used to be more dream job in my dream bank but the aftermath was so-so ba. i actu preferred trying an accounting job cos i wanna learn more about accounting. nvm nvm. maybe i shld take the opportunity to learn more about analyst...:) it may afterall come in useful nxt time, plus if i want to be an accountant, there is no lack of opportunities. lol.

on a spur of a moment, went on a short walking excusion to southern ridge this afternoon alone. it is so convenient that my journey actu begins from home where i walked up mt faber. despite being noon when i started, the weather was good and windy. met some wild monkeys along the way and had the whole of henderson waves to myself for at least half an hr. the feeling was unbelievably nice, lying in one of the archs and thinking with the wind blowing against my face, not bothered by anything or anyone. then, i considered many options and cleared my mind. *smilez* a relaxed mind right now :)