i miss home. yet i can't go home.

haven't gone home for 3mths alr. probably wouldn't be able to go home for the nxt 9 mths at least or maybe another 1 yr+. hall becomes a place i recluse to, despite how much i want to be with my family. i m just trying to run away. i know i m in no position to speak of this with so many ppl who are overseas. maybe cos its so near yet so far makes it worse. haha but just let this be a avenue for me to complain since i will not speak about it cos no one will probably understand what i m feeling fully ba. shldn't have spoken about it today cos it just made me think about it again. sometimes i really think i m so lousy. same few issues keep popping up over the sem yet i can't get over them. home, family, studies, health, relationships. maybe cos they overwhelmed me all at the same time. before one is settled, another one comes up. i m trying hard to cope and i will. optimism: i have learnt the hard facts of life so it will build up the strength in me. :)

didn't mean to use this blog as a place for me to complain so much. yet i can't help it. cos if i don't write them down, i'll keep everything to myself and it feels stiffling. if i don't do well this sem, i've only myself to blame. for all the excuses i have come up with. the circumstances i m in shouldn't form a reason for me not to do well. tiredness is just an excuse i m giving myself. the only thing that can get me through is knowing the love and warmth surrounding me. with all these, i have no reasons to complain anymore.

i miss home a lot. but with all the love showered upon me and with my family adapting just as i m. i m not going to complain. despite the change in environment, the people who love me still remains the same. they are my motivation. jia you to myself :) i'll love every inch of my house even more when i step back into it again. *smilez*