just a post of my rants.mmz...so can skip and not read :)

somehow i can't mask the feeling of disappointment. somehow along the way, i have lost the abiity to do a proper presentation. somehow nerves get to me. somehow the confidence is lost. twice, twice i forgot my speech on the spot, leaving me with bits and pieces which are not linked up. lousy presentations, really lousy ba. its one whole module, there goes it.

lets not blame upon the schedule of being the last, lets not blame upon the strong speakers in class. lets not blame upon the teacher. cos everything lies in our own hands. hence, if blame must be placed, one has to be responsible. the efforts put in to practice, the time spent on doing has all been lost.

can't seem to be consoled by saying u can work hard for the exams cos the module is lost. all i can say is work hard for the rest of the modules and make up for the one that has been lost. my mum told me that results are secondary, health is primary. i agree. yet i can't mask the feelings of being demoralized. life doesn't always seem to be smooth. if it is, then i'll miss out on an exciting life.

hence, in conclusion, life is exciting. let's embrace the challenges. only when there are falls, we'll learn to rise. studies is a personal challenge against ourselves. perhaps not just a challenge but also a jouney of learnings. so right now, i m still learning to do a good presentation without getting nerves over my head. i promise, i promise to be a speaker of confidence the nxt time i present in front of a crowd. i'll master the art of presenting. then, i'll look back and tell myself, that was only a grade that doesn't mean a thing. what is more important is the self confidence of one than to be demoralized by a grade.

haha i realize as i typed the entry, the more positive one becomes. it shows the change of attitude along the way, the building up of motivation. i think it sure looks better than sinking into the depths of demoralization. :) haha to anyone reading, may be i just confused you...