A working weekend.

For the past few months, I have been rather cooped up in my little hole. Noted that I have been digging down the hole like an ostrich, burying my head underground with no idea of the world going on around me. Till a day last week, this ostrich stopped digging the hole, jumped into the hole and held the head up above the ground. luckily the hole isn't too deep yet as I can stand and see the world around me. Then, the first question i asked was: i noted you have more hair on your head now. oblivious to my surroundings, only living in my own world has been the lifestyle i have been leading.

peak has been real long, never seem to break since it started in Jul. knocking off at 8pm is early, 10pm is my usual, 12pm is slightly late and 2am is late. life goes on day after day. felt like i have not seen my family much, often spending whatever remaining time i have with Mr GH. this misery is deep and people around me probably felt it much. i was resolved to change this, hence, on one Monday morning, I woke up filled with excitment like how it was on 1 Oct 2009 when I was all ready to start work. unfortunately, this enthusiam could not last past 2 days. By Tue evening, I was way too exhausted.

i wonder how this engagement has the power to demoralize and break people down, noting from its history that every girl on this job probably has dropped at least a tear on this job or maybe a bucket. been a while since i broke down over a job, but i did again. demoralized right to the bottom of the pit plus this engagement sure mould me into a sour grouchy teary emotional fellow. i have heard too many times about how strong i am seemingly holding up by seniors and by peers as i try not to show signs of a failing heart but the closest to me seems to be bearing all my nonsences. nonetheless, knowing myself, i will keep going on. going on till i found my heart's desire which i believe i will one day.

putting work aside, been thinking quite a bit these days about girls. looking back from a year ago, i noted that ambitions of girls have indeed changed including myself. other priorities have come forth and moving up the corporate ladder is less of an importance. no longer do i yearn to earn lots of money or become the CFO of an MNC, i am just contented with a stable job, a sufficiently stable source of income with a simple family and some friends. thinking back, years ago i would probably have laughed it off and do not believe that this mentality would be for me. yes, i still wish to be a successful career woman, juggling well in work, family and friends but audit makes me realize that if i had to choose one, i clearly know which i want.

*smilez* on a side note, i enjoyed phuket. pretty scenary, spending time with friends while relaxing. enjoyed spending time walking along the beaches, eating pancakes and just walking time away. however, seems like i have not had enough time recently with work occupying the majority. nonetheless, i will keep my smile and my motto on.

Strive, Believe, Achieve. Simplicity and sincerity :)