i finally tried my hands upon the using those online collages, so much easier! no need to piece them up tgt myself.

by the beach with my new year resolution. left on the sand, to be washed away into the sea :) i love ecp in particular, i love it lots.

i still have the thrill of driving on the roads, probably cos i only get to try once every few months. first time went up an expressway. ooh i wasn't as scared as i was previously but i sure wasted quite a lot of oil when i stepped hard on the accelarator and i can feel the heartache of the owner. i realize how hard it is to try to observe the directional road signs while trying to prevent myself from being a road hazard. eh i could only think of going straight, straight and straight.

christmas is a beautiful season of joy. i love the lights up and the festive mood. merry christmas! :)

the weekends are...

so precious that i don't know how to allocate my time btw family, friends and myself.
so short that it's just not enough time.

these few weekends, i have mostly spend my time with my family. after 22years, i finally brought mummy shopping at orchard and bugis for 2sundays consecutively. after 22 years, i finally brought my cousins out for a movie, just like how my aunts used to bring us out. (have to thank dar who initiated it) after 22 years, i have finally tasted my grandma's signature dish for the first time that is not sold in singapore. family, whom i tend to neglect. family, whom i didn't spend more time with. family, the warmth is always there no matter how long i didn't see them. family, my one and only but best asset i have.

frankly i miss my friends, especially old friends whom i used to chat lots and laugh around with. since work started, the number of times i turned up for gatherings can probably be easily counted in 2 hands. yet since work started, i really want to go home for dinner or meet dar if i get to knock off early which occurs really rarely. hence, i am totally looking forward to the christmas seasons! *smilez* it's afterall a season to bring smiles back onto the jaded work face and embrace the festive season in the company of friends.

working life is so different that i really appreciate the freedom of school. nonetheless, at least i am starting to settle in a bit, and learning to smile more in the process rather than being hidden below a pile of work. complains are inevitable but i am nonetheless contented.

on a final note, i realized love might dull over time of courtship, but what keeps it going is the warmth and companion, each willing to share little meanings in everyday life that keeps it going. just like, we might neglect our families, but they will never forsake us. love must reach that level of comfort and support before it becomes truly love. learning.

November has been a blessed month.

recalling the few surprises i had, thank you for remembering. that's the best gift :) i have nv been the most entertaining or most noisy among the crowd, yet i am most thankful and blessed to meet some really great pals along my life.

i love the friends i met in office, the lunch kakis and support who will bring me through my audit life. at this point, we have full strength though we all know that this group will shrink slowly. melaka had been a short 2 days but enough to tire us. i rmb the food, the laughters and the drunkards we had.

2 months had passed since work began. it hasn't been fast, neither has it been slow. the job i'll most probably be stuck in forever is a good exposure and a starting point. at a low point in time, i almost wanted to call quits to this client, leaving it for good. but i am unwilling to leave this good learning ground. together with my buddies on this job, we decided to hang in there together. though i don't think i make a good auditor, i'll still stick on for as long as i can learn, hopefully 3 years. made many mistakes along the way especially since i am quite careless and i do wonder if it will affect my appraisal. *smilez* surprisingly, i have managed to be kept quite happy at work despite my lacking social life. indeed a workaholic i am becoming. i am totally loving this long weekend!

Work.

i realized how difficult it is to disassociate oneself from work. work is never-ending and the number of times i've brought home work to do is uncountable. i am tired not from work, but from the difficulty of sleeping on certain nights. there was a night i close my eyes and all i saw was excel spreadsheets. scary.

been entrusted with tasks to complete. what makes it tough isn't the nature of the work but trying to understand what or how to do. i spend half the day figuring out all by myself all the terms used in banks and understanding the operations and regulations surrounding it. it is quite taxing and stressful esp when i am totally clueless and the entire bank operation is so big. at least, i am quite happy to be learning.

however, i realized how unsatisfied i am on the quality of work produced that results in moodiness at times. my only consolation is the lunches. *smilez* where all the gossips, all the swearing, all the complains come out.

much as i would want to be happier, many nights i come home tired with no energy to chat or become irritating whiny. hay ya! i need to get back to being myself with more energy! HAI YA! KACHA! happy happy, wee wee, smiley smiley, heehee. i think i am going mad! i am so glad the weekends are here again!

Memorable weekend.

Been a long long time since i stayed up for the entire night cos since year 2 of hall i began to believe sleeping is very important. haha. so what was the reason for staying up? MJ-ing and wii-ing. wii is fun at chalet! quite a new experience playing with people i don't even know. *smilez* i think i am in love with wii-tennis though i m totally very lousy at it. wii-bowling was super funny and i learnt a stunt from gh's sis to score high results. being her night, she was super high.

next was mj. haha to me, it was a session for me to lose money to all the pros around me. they are super zai and my wins are so small compared to theirs. each time i only win 40c per person. Their win was like $6 per person. wa. totally got thrashed but learnt quite a bit. slowly slowly learn...

finally the game ended at 5:30. travelled all the way from the jurong east to east coast park with the hope of catching sun rise but the weather was too cloudy. nonetheless, we had breakfast at Macs. both of us were so tired, we took a short nap in the car at ecp. haha wells, i literally slept through and didn't mind the unglamourous sight. lolz.

my senior asked: are you stressed? i said: no. but i think i am masking my stress. work is beginning. thankfully i have a very nice senior.

From the top of the bridge above the railway and highway near my house at 8am today, i shouted out. it was a random crazy thing that i always wanted to do.

It started with a short run around my house which i couldn't sustain arising from a tummyache halfway. hence, i walked the rest of the journey home where i had to pass through a bridge with minimal pedestrians. randomly, an idea struck me to stop and look quietly at the cars zooming below me while feeling the wind blowing against my face. then, i shouted, probably still shy of shouting at the top of my lungs, but nonetheless it is a nice feeling of relieve. there are minimal people around me and those that could actually hear me probably wouldn't be bothered to stop me while the cars zooming by can't hear me with their windows rolled up.

I have tendency to do random things whenever i feel like doing. be it drenching myself intentionally in a downpour, singing loudly in the back of my dad's lorry in the past, shouting on a bridge, lying alone on henderson waves observing or dancing and skipping along a path are just one of the few things i had done. these are all very simple things but many times i felt shy in public. These are the simple things i enjoy in the midst of life.

i want to maintain my weekly morning run :)

so far, life has been manageable. the many ntu grads in the company makes working life much more enjoyable knowing that many peers are in the same shoe as i am.

did my first overtime till 1:30am on one of the training days. woah quite an experience working so late with the entire team of ard 10ppl each rushing. i foresee more of such days coming, wellz at least i am prepared. frankly, i do not know how long can i last but i'll definately try. *smilez* my only motivation is that i am here to learn, to learn as much as i can.

it is getting harder and harder to concentrate during tuition, especially when it's after work and after a day of ot-ing so late into the night. seriously, i can't wait for tuition to end nxt weekend cos i think i am becoming a lousy teacher by each session.

Finally, i spent a day at home resting at night. yes, i love it and i love it lots. finally, i looked at the photos taken with the hall ppls upon graduation. finally, i want to say a big thank you to the ppl and friends i met in hall over the last 3 years cos they made life in NTU one of the most memorable times i have. have i ever thank this group of friends properly? haha maybe not. yes so here it is, thank you.

wishing each and every one of my friends a successful career and life ahead as many embarked on our journey into the working life. zz i am so randam...but i meant it :)