2016 lesson learnt: Parenting

Parenting.


Before the arrival of our little one, we lived in the ideal world of parenting being absolutely perfect. A sweet baby, busy but satisfied parents, happy family and  no issues. That was a total under estimation of the real situation.


We lived in the ideal world for the first 3 days at Thomson where everything was handled by the hospital and mummy is just focused on resting and feeding baby. But we were rudely jolted from our perfect world once baby is home. Being totally ill-prepared from total inexperience in handling a baby that is helplessly reliant on her parents to help her grow. The inexperience created stress, and lots of it. Additional stress mounted by people around us who were giving well intended advices, simply because there is no hard and fast rule to parenting. Many times, it is only based on personal opinions and mindset of individuals. Our views do not always reside well with our parents and in-laws especially when it comes to breastfeeding.


The start was very rough, added with the emotional attachment when things didn't go the way we the parents envisioned. From breastfeeding, to sleeping patterns, to feeding, to everything, too many opinions probably made things harder.

I made many inappropriate decisions that added more stress to the situation (ie not going for parenting classes, over-reliant on our parents' parenting style, staying at my parents house for confinement, not getting a confinement nanny at the start etc etc, the list probably goes on long). One of the biggest solace I sought was I have 2 awesome brothers and a superman hubby that made the situation more manageable. I was just a helpless wimp for the 1st 2 weeks. I was honestly terrified of newborns. During the journey, I have probably undergone so much stress, heartache and emotional rollercoaster that those added together in my entire life that made me realise there is no job harder than parenting.


Even after 3 full months, parenting is still difficult. It is no longer about parenting, it is also about managing stakeholders, managing baby's emotions and needs, managing my emotions and expectations and so much more. Different opinions often existed and they often unwittingly lead to straining of relationships. It is honestly difficult to reach a balance.


Above all, I realised the biggest mistake of not embarking this entire journey at the place where we call home. I have learnt so much from our precious baby; parenting can only be done once and there is no turning back. Perhaps it is time to re-evaluate our options from here on.