The last CNY celebration as a kid.

As I ate my reunion dinner at home, I know deep down that this is the last reunion dinner I might have at home with my family on chinese new year's eve. Laughing around with my brothers, chitchatting with my parents over the reunion dinner food and the usual table talk, something I am so used to doing for the last 20 years since I moved to my new house. Every year, the reunion dinner is a simple steamboat but it is indeed one of the rare occasion that we sat together on the dining table at home to have a meal together. We only have a steamboat feast once a year, having a spread of food. I am going to miss this feeling indeed.

This year officially marks my last CNY year happily going around to receive red packets. Next year, the table will be turned. Somehow it feels a bit weird to think otherwise, to be the first among my cousins to do so. Getting married involves a lot of growing up, though much wishing that I don't have to.

All the above are the little things that sometimes made me apprehensive about getting married. I would miss my immediate family a lot, their companionship accompanying me for the last 20 odd years. Their acceptance of my tantrums, my ignorance and my childishness. Only when I am at home, I can act like I am still a little kid. The transition of shedding this side of myself will be difficult, the start accepting the role of a wife and a in-law will be different, very different indeed.

But we know that this is a must-go-through process for all eventually.

All I want to do now for this remaining year till Oct is to appreciate my family and my extended family more, to spend a bit more time with them and love them more.